He Seems Interested In Person But Not Over Text – 10 Simple Reasons

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Written By Alexis

Alexis has 7 years of experience as a relationship therapist, a degree in psychology, and a deep personal understanding of human relationships.

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he seems interested in person but not over text

When the connection you have with someone doesn’t translate over text, it’s easy to feel like you’re being neglected or your feelings aren’t reciprocated. 

It’s common for people to find themselves in situations where they’re trying to figure out if someone is genuinely interested in them. 

It can be a confusing experience.

Confusion can lead to the question, Why does he seem interested in person but not over text? 

But hold your horses; there are several reasons why he behaves that way. From being busy to a lack of interest.

Before jumping to any conclusions, it’s essential to understand the reasons that may be at play and what you can do to improve the situation.

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Why he seems interested in person but not over text

If you are in a situation where you meet someone you connected with, but when you try to keep the talks going via text, it feels like they’re not as engaged as they were in person. 

It can feel like a letdown and leave you wondering what went wrong. Some factors below can explain this dynamic.

1. He is an Introvert

 Introversion is a personality trait characterized by a preference for solitary activities and feelings of energy depletion from social interaction. 

Some introverted men often find it easier to focus and concentrate when alone and may prefer one-on-one conversations to large group gatherings. 

An introverted man can feel more accessible and more natural to communicate in person rather than via text because they can express themselves with body language and other nonverbal cues.

2. He’s a busy Type

Most men only text a little because they are always busy. He might have a lot on his plate and is trying to sort things out. 

Most times, when life gets complicated, texting takes a backseat while working on crucial things.

It happens to most men. It could be because they have a demanding job, family obligations, or other things that take up much of their time and energy. 

He may need more time or energy to devote to texting, even if he is interested in you. It does not mean he doesn’t care; it’s just that he may have other priorities in life. 

3. He’s not sure about his interest

Uncertainty about his interest in you is a standard and relatable situation. 

It could mean he likes you, but he’s still trying to determine if he’s genuinely interested in pursuing a relationship. 

So it’s not that he’s not interested; it’s just that he’s unsure about what he wants. 

4. He’s struggling with Communication

Communication struggles are one of the primary reasons why he could be a different person over text. Finding the right words for communication can be a task for him. 

Most men easily express themselves when they are with you face-to-face. They love using body language, tone of voice, and nonverbal cues to communicate their point.

However, they may find it hard to express themselves through texting. 

Bear in mind that communication preferences are different for everyone. Therefore, most men will communicate with you in person rather than over text.

5. He’s gamophobia

A gamophobia fears commitment and may be reluctant to get involved in a serious relationship. 

Most men enjoy the attention and affection of dating but don’t want to take things to the next level.

When a man has a phobia like gamophobia(fear of commitment), it’s not necessarily because he is selfish or uncaring – it may just be that he’s afraid of the responsibilities and expectations of a serious relationship. 

He might worry that he won’t be able to meet your needs or lose his sense of freedom if he commits fully to you. 

It’s also possible that he has trust issues or has been hurt and is afraid of being hurt again. 

ALSO READ: What To Do When A Guy Pulls Away From You

6. He’s a Playboy

A playboy’s primary attribute is pursuing a life of pleasure without responsibility or attachments, especially one with a comfortable means.

All he wants from you is to keep him warm when he is cold, nothing else. He views the relationship as transactional rather than an emotional commitment. 

He’s always trying to get something out of you rather than connecting with you genuinely.

These traits make him seem interested in person rather than the text because he wants what he can get from you. 

7. Fear of Rejection

Fear of rejection is a common emotional hurdle that can impact people’s romantic interactions, primarily through text messages.

This fear stems from several factors, such as the vulnerability of Written communication, the potential for misinterpretation, and the perceived permanence of text messages. 

Some people feel more exposed when texting and often choose their words carefully; they worry that these messages may not receive the desired response, possibly leading to misinterpretation or rejection. 

Additionally, text messages can be permanent, and most men fear that what they type could be saved, shared, or used against them later if the relationship doesn’t work out, adding to their apprehension. 

Past experiences can further exacerbate this fear. 

If a guy has previously faced rejection, it can make him more cautious about expressing his interest over text, even if he genuinely likes you, making him not text.

8. He’s Testing the Waters

“Testing the waters” is an idiom that means cautiously trying something out or taking initial steps to assess a situation or a person’s response before fully committing. 

It’s a way to gather information and minimize risk before making a more significant decision or investment.

Most men often do this. He would want to ensure that his choices align with your goals and preferences before making a more substantial commitment. 

Most guys go out on dates with ladies they are interested in to gauge their compatibility and mutual interest. 

They are “testing the waters” to determine if there is potential for a more serious relationship before committing fully. 

9. Lack of Chemistry

Lack of Chemistry is often used to describe the absence of a strong emotional or physical connection between individuals. 

It implies that despite spending time together, there is no palpable spark, mutual attraction, or a deep sense of compatibility.

Now, bringing it down to text messages, he may not feel that connection during the text. 

Some people click better in person due to chemistry or physical attraction. 

If he doesn’t feel the connection over text, it could be because the medium doesn’t capture the essence of their in-person interaction.

10. Different Priorities

He might prioritize in-person interactions because he values them more while viewing texting as a secondary form of Communication. 

It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not interested, but he may invest less in texting.

ALSO READ: Why Men Starts Caring When You Stop Thinking Aout Them

How to improve the situation if he seems interested in person but not over text

You can do several things to improve the situation when he seems interested in person but not over text. 

Remembering these things can create a more balanced and respectful communication dynamic.

1. Stop texting frequently

 A possible solution is to take a step back and give him space. It could mean giving him time to respond to texts or even taking a break from texting him. 

Sometimes, people come across as too eager because they need to ask more questions or try harder to keep the conversation going. 

In that case, focus on quality rather than quantity. That means crafting thoughtful texts that show genuine interest rather than just firing questions or random comments.

2. Focus on building rapport and connection through shared interests

 Instead of just asking questions, try talking about things that both of you are interested in. 

For example, if you’re both into a particular TV show, you could talk about the latest episode or your thoughts on the characters.

It can help create a more natural and genuine connection. It will also make him show interest while texting.

3. Proper tone of the texts

 Sometimes, people come across as too eager because their texts are too intense or they’re trying too hard to impress the other person. 

In such cases, a possible solution is to relax and be yourself. Let the conversation flow naturally; don’t worry about saying the “perfect” thing. 

ALSO READ: How He Feels When You Stop Chasing Him

4. Balanced texts

 This one is about making sure your texts are balanced. Most men can think of you as selfish because you only talk about yourself or only ask questions without contributing anything yourself. 

A possible solution is to make sure you’re balancing queries and statements and allowing him to share his thoughts and feelings.

That way, it’s a two-way conversation instead of a one-sided interview. 

5. Acknowledge his boundaries

This one is all about being respectful of his time and space. It’s important to remember that just because you’re eager to talk doesn’t warrant him to give you his full attention at the time. 

So, it’s important to respect his time and space and not expect an immediate response. 

6. Build Trust

 Building trust is essential if you want a man to be more open and communicate with you over text. 

It can be done by being reliable, honest, and transparent. 

For example, try to be clear and direct with your text and avoid leaving things open to interpretation.

7. Give him the benefit of the doubt

Try to give him the benefit of the doubt. He might seem interested in person but not over text for many reasons, and it’s only sometimes because he is deceptive or manipulative. 

So, approach the situation with an open mind and assume positive intent.


It’s important to remember that everyone communicates differently, and what works for one person may not work for another. 

The most important thing is to be respectful and considerate of the other person’s feelings and to be aware of your communication style. 

By being mindful of these things, you will stop wondering why he seems Interested in person but not over text.

You can invent a more positive and productive communication dynamic. 

You may not always get the response you want, but you’ll have a better chance of understanding each other and getting on the same page.

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