Women by nature, are very emotional. Not many women find it easy to deal with relationship traumas. As a result, what they do when the undesired happens in their relationships could put them in a tough spot.
Such a situation is when a guy pulls away. Many will start chasing after him. They beg even though they are not at fault.
They send people to inquire about his lifestyle when the guy halts communication with her.
Of course, you want to ensure your efforts and time nurturing the friendship are worthwhile. Moreover, one thing you should know as a lady is that men take pride in doing the most to seek recognition from women.
When a guy pulls away do nothing
A man will heighten his pride if you don’t dignify yourself around him. Therefore, you should consider whether he is worth the chase.
Someone you’ve shared good moments with or who claims he’s interested in you should not just pull away. So far, you have done nothing to deserve such treatment.
Even if you have wronged him, courtesy demands that he talks to you about it. Breaking communication suddenly is never the right thing to do. Consequently, when he pulls away, do nothing.
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Leave him alone when he pulls away
Through communication, we share love, affection, passion, and whatever we have to share with our loved ones.
Your boyfriend understands these principles that guide a relationship, Yet he pulls away. To this effect, you would be right to leave him alone when he pulls away.
You might be right if you assume you can pull him back by doing more for the relationship.
So, you want to do more while he is doing less to ensure the relationship keeps working. Meanwhile, you should understand that logic doesn’t always work in love affairs. Emotion does.
Consequently, that won’t help the situation. Although one partner will always love and care more. In that case, it would be best for you to leave him alone when he pulls away.
Since he is the one who pulled away himself, he should know his way back if he still desires to stay in the relationship.
In matters concerning the heart, we can’t force others to want or love us. We can only show our desire to make it work, but it never works by forcing ourselves on them.
Don’t chase him when he pulls away
No woman wants a break in communication from the person they have been romantically involved with.
The lovely texts that come early in the morning, the long calls every night, and the beautiful memories created together will all make a lady glued to a guy.
This is natural. We can’t stop getting attached to someone who looks real to us. So, it is not your fault that you want him badly after he pulls away.
Consequently, you may send him texts, call him, and even pay him visits after he pulls away. Meanwhile, it would be better to consider if you deserve the way he’s been treating you.
A relationship is a collective effort, so pulling away from you unapologetically should be his worry if there is no wrong from you.
And when he has done that, you shouldn’t chase after him. He should be the one coming back to you to make his wrongs right.
Therefore, in essence, don’t chase him if he pulls away.
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Nevertheless, there is no smoke without a fire. If a man who once loved you pulls away, there has to be some cause.
So, let’s learn the reasons he decided to pull away. Knowing this helps a lot in addressing the issue.
The reason why he pulls away suddenly
1. He was once disappointed
As much as we want to leave our pasts behind, no one wants to be hunted by the horrible moments they’ve had in the past.
However, in most cases, our pasts influence our present sometimes. A previous disappointment could be the reason why he pulls away.
Once beaten, twice shy, they say. Disappointment in relationship matters is always challenging to handle. It’s not easy for someone severely disappointed in a past affair to have a safe landing with you.
Unfortunately, the past might come to hunt them, and they may decide to pull away to gain momentum.
2. He doesn’t consider you fit for each other
This is more likely when the relationship is still very young or at the “talking stage.” The beginning of the relationship is when you learn about each other.
You understand each other’s dos and don’ts and learn about their life expectancy.
If he noticed you aren’t a good match for each other, perhaps you both share different contradictory opinions about life. He might pull away to avoid recurring arguments or fights in the future.
3. He considers himself low in standard
Here’s one more thing that could happen at the initial stage of the relationship. A guy will want to understand your credibility before things go deep between you both.
If, in his assessment, he finds you have a high standard entirely above his, he could pull away if he can’t deal with it.
Men will always want to exercise their masculine nature and never want to engage with ladies who don’t possess the submissive trait.
A man will likely pull away if your standard appears to be a threat.
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4. He is bothered about other things
Sometimes, a guy will pull away because he faces life issues. Ordinarily, we shouldn’t make excuses for not keeping in touch with the people we care about.
Moreover, some problems are difficult to handle, especially for someone not emotionally stable.
He may not notice when he gets consumed by thoughts which might make him pull away from you.
You can imagine what goes through the head of someone that lost his job or failed a promotion exam. Matters outside the relationship could be the reason he pulls away.
5. The energy isn’t visible any longer
Unfortunately, people get tired of each other at some point. That is the most crucial stage of a relationship. Only true love can hold the relationship at such a moment.
It happens when everything moves relatively too fast. You have shared moments and explored each other, and there seems to be nothing new or spectacular to do any longer.
The chances of him pulling away at such a point are very high.
What to do when he pulls away
1. Stay calm
When you can’t understand why he is pulling away, you cannot tell why he is doing so. Therefore, you should remain calm while the issue lasts.
You shouldn’t fear that the end has come. Refrain from occupying your thought with why he stopped reaching out.
Instead, it would help if you use the moment to reflect on the relationship as a whole. Reflect on how you started with him, where you are now, and where the relationship is going.
Importantly, take time to reflect if any of your conduct could be responsible for his pulling away. That is how you start proffering a solution to the matter.
2. Give him space
Having stayed calm and taken time to reflect, you should also give him space. There are several reasons to give him space in such a situation.
Ordinarily, whatever goes on in your partner’s mind should be shared with you. However, we all prefer to deal with some issues personally. So, isn’t it best to give him space in such a situation?
He should reflect on the relationship and needs space for that. It would be best if you understood that his pulling away doesn’t mean the relationship is over; he might need space to fix some things.
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3. Discuss things with him
If he breaks communication and you also keep mute forever, the relationship will crash.
Someone has to make the first move. Waiting on him to come around might be waiting on futility. So far, you still want the relationship; there is no big deal if you make a move first.
Importantly, understand the difference between doing this and chasing him.
In this regard, you must have comforted yourself, reflected on the matter, and given him reasonable time to think.
If you have done all these, you could sit him down, talk to him over the issue and iron it out amicably.
4. Go for therapy with him
When you know that he pulled away due to matters that went wrong with him and you might not be capable of handling it, it will help if you both consider therapy.
When he can’t manage his emotional or life challenges and you can’t help him in such a situation, see a therapist together.
FINAL THOUGHTS
When he pulls away, most ladies think it outrightly means he is no longer interested. This principle might be true if he has a reason to pull away, which you might know. However, that is not only the case.
Some pull away because they are faced with issues that go beyond their control. Few pull away because they misconceive certain things about you, and most do so because of previous disappointments they experienced.
Whichever the reason is, stay calm and reflect on the matter. Likewise, give him space to figure out what the problem is and, if need be, advise him to go for therapy.
A guy pulling away doesn’t readily mean he is no longer interested in you.