How To Use Reverse Psychology To Get Him To Commit

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Written By Alexis

Alexis has 7 years of experience as a relationship therapist, a degree in psychology, and a deep personal understanding of human relationships.

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reverse psychology to get him to commit

Getting your man to commit to you can be complicated. Commitment is just the final process of cementing a relationship and taking it to the next level, and it is a decision that requires sacrifice and courage. 

When your boyfriend commits, he explicitly agrees that you two have become an item with plans to take the relationship to the next level. 

At some point, lots of guys develop cold feet. 

Fortunately, you can deploy reverse psychology to spur your man to commit.

Have you thought of using reverse psychology to get him to commit? This is a persuasion strategy of saying or acting the opposite. 

It is a tactic that is built on the reactance theory. Men generally like to feel in charge. They hate to be told what to do. 

This is why it works so well on men. 

If you notice that your man is reluctant to pledge his commitment to the relationship, you can nudge him to commit by showing in various ways that you are not too concerned about securing his commitment. 

Sounds counterintuitive, doesn’t it? But it is a tried and tested method.

Using reverse psychology can help to achieve reassurance in relationships. If your guy is reluctant to put a ring on your finger, badgering him to act would make him think otherwise. 

Reverse psychology is tactfully coursing a man to do exactly what you want by making it look like you don’t want it and making him feel he is doing it out of his own will. 

This article will show simple ways to use reverse psychology to get your man to commit to you. Ready? Let’s roll.

ALSO READ: What Makes A Woman Easy To Get

Try any of these reverse psychology to get him to commit tricks. You may be walking down the aisle soon.

1. Play hard to get

The hard-to-get tactic is a classic that never gets old. If you are always hanging by your man’s arms, he will feel he has already won you. 

Don’t give him an easy run. Be elusive once in a while. Do not reply to his texts rapidly or be effusive with the love emojis. Give him the impression that you are busy with other things.

However, it would be best not to go to the extremes. 

Depending on your kind of man, playing extremely hard to get can be a turn-off. You should play along the thin lines. 

Leave subtle hints that you are within his reach but out of his grip. Think of it like a software package: he only gets exclusive control if he subscribes to premium.

2. Tease his jealous nature by introducing competition 

The territorial nature of a man is well-documented. Every man wants to be the Alpha of his pack. He does not like to share his lady with anybody. 

You can stir up jealousy in your guy by subtly dropping hints that you are open to having fun with other guys.

You can even go as far as uploading snippets from your outings with other guys or casually sharing stories of your meetings with the guys in your workplace. 

It would trigger the Alpha in him when he perceives that he is racing against a competition. 

If your guy truly loves you, he would do anything – including committing to you – to ensure you stay with him.

3. Set standards for yourself

You love your guy dearly. That much is established. Because of this, it can be tempting to go with everything he suggests. But this would not make him love you more. 

On the contrary, it would make you look cheap and easy. 

Before long, your man would begin to undermine your value and stop taking you too seriously. And this will only dent your chances of getting him to commit.

Instead, you must set high personal standards. These standards would raise your value and force him to raise his to match yours.

 Men love the feeling of dating a valuable woman because it indirectly makes them feel valuable themselves. 

When you make him feel like he is not at your level, he will be eager to catch up to prove himself worthy.

ALSO READ: When A Woman Realized She Has Lost A Good Man

4. Avoid pestering your man to commit

Intensity and too much effort can be counterintuitive when you want to get a man to commit. 

The whole point of reverse psychology is to get him to believe his actions are of his own will, not your persistence. 

If you bother him to commit, he would be inclined to rebel. This will also give him the impression that he is all you’ve got, and that would make him complacent about moving the relationship forward.

So what do you do? 

Stop love-bombing or clinging to his sleeve. Give him some space and act aloof like a queen while at it. 

When he senses that you are not all over him, he might wonder if you are seeing someone else or no longer interested in him.

That’s just the reaction you need. This will force him to double up his efforts and pursue commitment with you.

5. Make him feel the romance is temporary

Instill the notion that the romance you share is fleeting and you do not wish to pursue it for long. 

There are many discreet ways to do this. Here is a scenario: You are sitting on the beach sands watching the sunset. In that beautiful and peaceful moment, heave a sigh and say something like: “Such a beautiful sunset. To think that years from now, we will be enjoying this moment with someone else”.

Such a statement will get him on red-hot alert. Everybody loves to enjoy a good moment, and in that instant, he would be triggered to preserve what he has with you by making moves to commit to the relationship. 

Feeding him the idea that the romance will not last is powerful because it firmly puts control in his hands. He either makes the relationship concrete or loses out to a perceived competitor.

6. Celebrate his achievements

Allow your man to pursue other things he is interested in besides you. It could be work-related or personal leisure. 

Grant him the autonomy to have fun and celebrate his successes in his endeavors. 

Men love to be given free rein to explore life, and a woman who gives him liberty to do this without the common episodes of guilt-tripping and bickering is pure gold. 

You will also score more points by celebrating him. This will make him feel that you genuinely care about his person. Men do not want to be around women who constantly nag at them.

This might look like you are sacrificing too much, but it is only a psychological tactic. 

Buoyed by your support, your man will come to confide about his activities and affairs with you. 

When he becomes that attached to you, he would have no choice but to commit to you and keep you all to himself. 

While this should be a normal attribute in every relationship, it is equally an effective way to use reverse psychology to get a man to commit.

ALSO READ: How He Feels When You Stop Chasing Him

7. Warn him off you

This is Reverse Psychology 101. It is the very basic law in the rulebook. Warn your man not to become too attached to you and watch him scramble to do the opposite. 

It is the Garden of Eden all over again. Think of Adam and the forbidden fruit. Forbidden things are harder to resist. 

Don’t jump on his every advance. Turn down some of his date invites and sometimes let his calls ring unanswered. 

Nothing sparks the zeal in a man like feeling unworthy of your attention.

Of course, you shouldn’t overdo this as a rule of thumb. Share lovely moments to get him attached, but don’t linger on it. 

You can let him know some impediments that will complicate the romance. Psychologically, when an unsuspecting man is warned of things, he would go to great lengths to overcome every challenge. 

He would be doing this to get you and massage his ego. In any case, it is a win-win situation for you.

8. Try the ‘right guy, wrong time’ trick

When you have heartfelt conversations, find a way to tell him how sure you are that he is the right guy for you. But, always contradict this by saying he unfortunately came at the wrong time. 

This poses a challenge to him. Now that he has an inkling of your feelings for him, he would begin to wonder what else stands as a roadblock. 

His pride would make him work to make the clock right. The end goal is to make him hasten to seal the deal.

9. Live your life to the full

Yes, you love your man, and you sincerely appreciate his companionship. But there are other finer things in life. 

You have a beautiful life in your hands. Live it fully and independently of him. 

Go on vacations with your girlfriends, ruthlessly pursue your career goals, and do more outside your relationship. 

This is still reverse psychology, but you would also be benefiting yourself. There are two ways this can get him to pursue commitment with you.

1: He sees that you are not hinged to him, making him desire to make you his own exclusively. Men yearn for things that are seemingly out of their reach.

2: He sees you as a high-value woman and realizes he would be doing great by having you. He would also hasten to commit with you because he knows that other men perceive you in the same light.

ALSO READ: The Main Reasons He Wants To Marry You So Fast

10. Maintain a busy schedule

Another way to make a man want you more is by pretending to be too busy for him, even if you are not. 

When you clarify that you have significant things to do with your time, he will attach more value to every time you spend with him.

One thing about us humans is that we always want to own the most prized things, so by giving him the idea that your time is worth a lot of value, he will feel honored to have more of it.

 11. Show personal growth

Men like associating themselves with success, and the best part is having a successful woman he can call his. 

If you show yourself to be successful by investing in personal growth, you will appear more valuable to any man, making your partner desire you more. 

You can do this by upskilling in your workplace, associating yourself with significant people, and approaching every situation or argument maturely.

12. Post positive updates on social media

Posting pictures of you at expensive places or exclusive events is a very effective trick to get your man to want to know more about what is going on with you. 

Constantly update your social media space with positive info like your latest achievement or a picture with other good-looking men. 

This will ignite your man’s hunger and jealousy, as he will be uncomfortable seeing other men around you. This trick works every time.

Final words

As the famous saying goes, you can only bring a horse to the river but can’t force the horse to drink. But reverse psychology disagrees. 

You can make the horse thirst for water with some psychological manipulation. The techniques here will help you get your man to yearn for commitment. 

You should combine multiple methods to achieve the desired result in many cases. While attempting these techniques, it is always better to tread cautiously and skirt along thin lines. 

You risk turning your man off if you go to the extreme with some strategies. That is why it is essential to know your man. Is he compliant or nonconformist? 

A compliant man might not fight too hard or surrender if he senses you are open to seeing other men.

It is also essential to understand his hesitation to commit. Sometimes, it may be due to finance, deep-seated trust issues, uncertainty, or complacency. 

In the latter two cases, reverse psychology would cause him to spring into action and commit to you. 

The former two require a different approach. Sometimes, he hesitates to commit because he doesn’t even like you. You should abandon the ship if that is the case. 

There is no point in winning someone that is not invested in you.

 If you feel your man has become too complacent, you can always consider using reverse psychology to get him to commit, and the abovementioned tricks are your best chance.

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