Why Does He Has A Girlfriend But Wants Me Too

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Written By Alexis

Alexis has 7 years of experience as a relationship therapist, a degree in psychology, and a deep personal understanding of human relationships.

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he has a girlfriend but wants me too

The confusion is unexplainable to find yourself being the subject of a man’s attention while still in a relationship with another woman.

He has a girlfriend but wants me too is one of the most awkward positions you may find yourself in.

You are now faced with taking the position of “the other girl” or outrightly rejecting his advance. It doesn’t sit well with your ego because that is not the romance story you dream of building.

This situation can be complimenting, for it may mean you are better than his girlfriend, and at the same time can be daring and reckless.

Get this quickly; if you fall for him or crave his attention in return, never hate yourself for that.

We always crave what is challenging, which is part of being human, especially the competing contract of love. It’s weird and full of incredibility.

So what is your next line of effort if you find yourself in such a pool of dilemmas? How do you handle yourself so you won’t feel used?

Questioning why such feelings exist and why he wants you despite being in a relationship is the fundamental way of knowing what you can do in such a confusing situation.

Why Does He Has A Girlfriend But Wants Me Too

Whether or not you are into this guy, in return, you are potentially on the journey of becoming the other woman- a side chick.

He wants you because some men are wired to pursue other women because it is their instinctual drive.

Craving for you alongside his girlfriend doesn’t make him a bad person, in as much as he doesn’t betray his girlfriend’s trust by acting on that intention.

Having feelings for him in return is not bad. You must understand the possible consequences of being in a relationship with a man who has a girlfriend.

Despite being in a seemingly healthy relationship, the guy still craves to have you for many reasons. Here are some reasons.

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Why does he want me if he has a girlfriend?

1. He doesn’t love his girlfriend

His seemingly glittering relationship might be the one he is trying to escape from, but he has not decided yet. He is neither committed nor disciplined enough to understand and practice building a committed relationship.

He hopes on time before calling to quit with her because he isn’t getting enough drills and satisfaction with his supposed girlfriend.

Their attitude and beliefs don’t align. And on the other hand, he finds in you precisely what is missing in his girlfriend. Maybe the girlfriend is not giving him the deserved respect, attention and care you give him as an ordinary friend.

The more you relate with him, the more he gets loose to you and begins to develop a feeling for you because you are serving him the optimum comfort he is short of.

2. He is making you a backup plan

Yes, we all hate failure, and heartbreak can be painful. He is probably flirting with you because he is unconfident of his girlfriend’s recent behavior.

He fears his girlfriend might cut the relationship off out of the blue. Or he may have you handy as his girlfriend when he decides to part ways with the girl.

Establishing a new relationship afresh with many phases before familiarization can be exhaustive.

Since he is flirting with you, knowing and cool with your attitude, he feels keeping you will be advantageous if things go south in his relationship.

3. He wants sex from you

All he might be thinking when flirting with you is how he will get you laid to bed. Promiscuity is the most common reason many guys flirt with another woman when in a relationship.

Some men are so naturally undisciplined. They crave to have a random taste of different women at a go.

Why does he flirt when he has a girlfriend?

It is because he only wants sex from you with no strings attached, like being his friend with benefits and still maintaining his relationship with his girlfriend.

You can agree or disagree with that. Most women also want to experience a moment of intimacy with the man they are getting fond of if they find him attractive.

Maybe, he is not sexually fulfilled in his relationship. This is most likely the possible reason. The girlfriend may not match his sexual prowess, so he wants to explore his sexual fantasies with you.

He could be coming to you hoping to fill the hole his relationship is lacking sexually.

4. He has a genuine attraction for you

There could be a possibility that he genuinely likes you. An attraction of one of your qualities might have drawn him into a pool of affectionate love with you.

Maybe he sees you as a better option after meeting his girlfriend, or he just fell for you unknowingly. Human emotions are fickle and fleeting.

Changes can occur to us out of our control. So it may not be his fault if he has started feeling you in a certain way.

If he has communicated this to you, ask him what he expects you to do. Maybe he is hoping to start the journey of a genuine relationship, or he feels guilty about it and ordinarily needs to get his mind clear.

In essence, loving you doesn’t equate with the readiness to have a relationship with you.

ALSO READ: Is My Ex Trying To Get My Attention On Social Media

5. He is having a problem with his girlfriend

Unfortunately, a guy can use another woman as a “hold on” while having some rancor with his girlfriend.

He may be expressing his desire for you because he has problems with his partner. They can fight or have a slight issue they hope to settle soon.

At this time, he is simply looking for a “pick me up” from you because he is depressed and tired of his girlfriend’s attitude but still in love with her.

In this sort of situation, you have the potential to become his dirty little secret. If you don’t want it, you should let him know.

Before coming to you with his problems, he must deal with them independently. You may talk to him if he’s still interested in you or if he withdraws the attention once he and his problem are out of the picture.

6. You were his first love and crush

Maybe you’ve been his long-time crush, but he never gets the chance with you until he meets his girlfriend. The old feeling he has for you still resides in him.

His girlfriend is probably a case of making do with what is available when the desirable is unreached.

Now that you are accessible to each other, having a girlfriend won’t be a barrier to quenching his old feeling for you. He gets connected to you and doesn’t seem to let you go this time.

But the question lies in, is he ready to forgone his girlfriend for you, or will he be dating you alongside the girlfriend?

7. He is on a revenge mission

If the guy was cheated on by his partner in the past, he might feel that cheating on her in return is the only fair way the girl can feel his pain.

In essence, he is using you to fulfill his revenge mission.

Either he is doing so to let his girl feel the pain, teach her a lesson and move on eventually to you or he wants retaliation before getting back to her.

In conclusion, what’s the next step if you know he has a girlfriend?

Now that you know the possible reasons he might be flirting with you. It lies on you to decide what to do, whether to keep yourself with him as a side chick or disagree with his intentions.

If you know the woman is committed to the relationship, don’t ruin it. Try to imagine yourself in the picture of the lady. Won’t you be hurt if you realize your man is cheating?

Be honest with the guy if you know you have nothing to do with him. Politely cut him off and tell him you are not interested.

If you are into him already and can’t afford to let him go, the least is to maintain pure friendship and hope he will ordinarily call it to quit with the girl and have you in, in the end.

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