My Boyfriend Has No Interest In Me Sexually-Find Out Why

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Written By Alexis

Alexis has 7 years of experience as a relationship therapist, a degree in psychology, and a deep personal understanding of human relationships.

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my boyfriend has no interest in me sexually

Sexual satisfaction plays a crucial role in the relationship journey of many partners. Sexual pleasure is highly connected to relationship and marital satisfaction.

It becomes an issue if one of the partners is having a drop in sexual cravings.

It is an issue of concern to question your man’s sexual disconnection or sluggishness towards you because you deserve great sexual pleasure.

My boyfriend has no interest in me sexually

Suppose you mess up his mental health by nagging and snapping at him at any interval, being too lazy to maintain personal hygiene and having an unbefitting body shape. Not giving him respect, among others, will make him lose attraction, which is the bedrock of sexual desire.

Sex is a natural pleasure ordained to be enjoyed between the opposite sex. Still, as a woman who is concerned about her boyfriend’s disinterest in sex, it is essential to note that individuals differ.

Don’t compare your partner’s level of activeness with the outside world. What is essential is for you to be satisfied by the quality of sex you are having.

The primary issue you need to deduce is understanding if your boyfriend lost interest in sex or having it with you.

If it is from the former, the issue may result from a medical or psychological defect on his part. If it’s the latter, you are probably the problem, and you would need to do all it takes to get him interested if you still crave sexual satisfaction from him.

How do you know if your man has no interest in you sexually?

Suppose he turns you down when you try to initiate sex with him or if he doesn’t touch you in the usual or supposed romantic way.

Another sign could be that you know him as someone who always talks dirty about sex or is hypersexual but drops drastically in the act.

Why my boyfriend has lost interest in me sexually

It is hurtful and frustrating to realize that your boyfriend is losing interest in sex out of the blue.

Your mind is infused with all the possibilities as to why and some worse possible puzzled questions suddenly start springing up from your mind.

There are hundreds of reasons your boyfriend is no longer having an interest in you sexually.

But the good news is that most of these reasons, with the right approach, have solutions, and you can have back that fun you’ve been missing from your boyfriend more than ever.

The reasons are either from you, from him or caused by external factors.

If your sexual prowess and sexual orientation are against his standard, he will lose interest in you, no doubt.

If he is somebody with a low sex drive or has a medical condition that affects his sexual relationship with you, it means the deficiency is from him, and you both have to find a way around that together.

But it becomes an external force if stress, anxiety, depression, food intake, fear and old age, among others, amount to his less desire for intercourse.

Here are some reasons why your boyfriend has lost interest in you sexually.

1. He may be cheating on you

Most women think this way the moment they start experiencing less attention from their boyfriend sexually.

You may be right. If he is not getting it from you, another woman is taking care of his sexual needs.

He may be cheating because you care less about his sexual pleasure, and he can’t bear the stigma of being deprived of sexual satisfaction from you or that he ordinarily wants to explore a new body.

If you find out cheating is probably the reason, find the cause and remedy it if you can.

RELATED: How To Spoil Your Boyfriend In Bed A Leave Him Satisfied

If he is cheating because your libido is low or higher than what he could bear or cheating out of the ordinary, it is up to you to sit him down and talk around it amicably.

Besides, other factors can draw a guy away from you and make him look up to another woman while you are still in a relationship with him.

2. He is too stressed and occupied with work and career

While you think another woman has taken your space, your man may have buried his mind and thoughts on his work or career.

Most men derive pleasure from making money, promoting, and being regularly praised rather than sex.

Their priority is just different, and that is why they are giving more energy to other things that matter most to them.

Their day-to-day worries are mainly about their career, to meeting deadlines at work or personal business place. Everyday stress can lead to low libido. Dealing with excessive concerns can negatively impact his sex life.

When he reacts to stress, his body goes through a series of changes to prepare him to run away or stay and fight. This is known to be a flight or fight response.

Fight or flight response will make him experience an increase in heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate while his sex drive reduces as well. 

This response also causes the release of hormones like cortisol and epinephrine, which cause a drastic decrease in sex drive.

When stress is protracted, the body uses sex hormones to meet the increased demands for higher cortisol production, causing a decreased interest in sex.

In addition, there is also a psychological effect. Stress can cause him to have a busy, frazzled mind and distract him from wanting sex or being absent-minded during sex.

It can also impact his mood, leading to anxiety and depression, which can diminish his libido.

3. Pornographic content is taking control over him

Being addicted to porn brings a rush of fantasies that he dreams of exploring with someone in his brain.

Most men that consume porn content experience a significantly lower level of sexual desire with their partners. It negatively impacts intimacy, romantic attachment, affection, happiness, commitment and eventually, the sexual life between partners.

Porn may be appealing and pleasurable in the first place but may end up causing harm to the relationship.

Its addiction makes man stimulated instead of relying on foreplay with his partner for arousal and may easily lead to erectile dysfunction.

Porn can be helpful sometimes. It can help people who are bothered about their sexuality get past their anxiety.

In essence, porn fuels unrealistic expectation about the reality of what sex life is and make men less satisfied with their partner rather than deriving pleasure from it.

“Porn itself is not the problem; rather, the way it is used can be detrimental. Sarah Melancon, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist who’s a former model, director, and producer in the adult film industry, told Healthline.

Suppose you suspect that your partner is getting sexual gratification from pornography instead of you; in that case, it is well-advised that you both work on acknowledging the problem, talking it out, and possibly meeting with a sex therapist for counseling.

4. Erectile dysfunction

ED occurs when a man can’t maintain an erection for penetration despite foreplay or watching pornographic content.

ED can be caused by many factors, such as neurological or psychological disorders or maybe due to vascular disease.

Outside factors like stress, anxiety and trauma can be the cause.

If a man is suffering from ED, it is not that he is not interested in sex, he can’t just bear the shame of putting you into a sexual space and he ends up disappointed with no penetration.

5. He Has An Underlying medical condition

When his health is not at its best, he might not be in the mood for intimacy. From genital disease to STDs to protracted diseases like cancer can cost men their sexual desire.

Also, being overweight can diminish a man’s sexual pleasure. It can lead to obesity which causes intimacy dysfunction and eventual loss of interest in sex.

Also, those who consume alcohol and eat heavy, fattening, greasy or excessively sugary foods may be inactive in bed and can easily lose their erection during intercourse.

6. He is shy to initiate sex

Believe it or not, some men are not that romantic and can’t initiate a sexual atmosphere despite looking cute.

Your partner has seemingly lost interest in initiating sex; It could be that he’s not that comfortable with doing so.

Though it is the social norm for men to initiate sex, some men do not have the confidence to put their partners into the mood for sex.

Some are not convenient to initiate based on moral background. Even though he wants to, he thinks you might not be okay or turn him down if he makes the request.

The onus here lies on you to take charge. Instead of thinking he has to be responsible for the eroticism and the initiation of sexual intimacy, you can take control of it.

If you want to have a fulfilling sex life and your partner isn’t an initiator, this might be the role you must fill, at least until he has the confidence to do so.

7. Age

There is a term referred to as “andropause,” somehow related to female menopause. It is described as an age-related decrease in testosterone levels in men.

Also Read: Why Am I Sexually Attracted To Older Men

Your partner may be passing through this if he is an aged or middle-aged person. You may ordinarily not look too attractive to him. It is a biological problem and not a psychological one.

In this situation, communicating your sexual feelings and helping him maintain healthy fitness is the ultimate solution to getting premium satisfaction.

If you have a very high drive for sex, though not all, be aware that an aged person may not perform better than a younger person, but they can be more fun to be with and more caring than the younger ones.

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