Why Am I Sexually Attracted To Older Men

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Written By Alexis

Alexis has 7 years of experience as a relationship therapist, a degree in psychology, and a deep personal understanding of human relationships.

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why am i sexually attracted to older men

At the prime age of 20s, you are loaded with beauty, soft and elegant skin, moderate hips, with perfect body posture.

With this, your dream is to have a date, a fun time and probably a marriage goal with a well-built body young guy of your age circle.

But the reality is the opposite. The older men of middle age keep asking you out, and you are gradually attracted to them in return.

I understand you are confused about what might be the cause of this. You can’t even decide whether it is healthy to be attracted to older men.

Why am I sexually attracted to older men?

With age comes experience and the ability to be emotionally stable in dealing with a relationship. Older men have, in the past gained expertise in handling their sexuality and relationship affairs, so it’s natural to get drawn by their appealing mature minds.

Why do older guys like me? Well, the condition is referred to as Gerontophilia. A gerontophile is someone sexually attracted to older men far from their age.

It is seen as merely a social phenomenon rather than a cultural cliché. After all, many guys love to date women younger than their age, and many young girls consider boys their age serial heartbreakers who are not mature enough to handle a relationship.

So, you are not alone in dating an older guy.

Besides, dating has nothing to do with age. Love is blind, and the heart knows what it wants, irrespective of what the mind or eyes feel.

There is no particular age difference for what makes a great relationship. Understanding and compatibility are what matter.

Though not a guarantee, older guys tend to be more experienced, mature and have a less complicated life.

They are more likely to be more in love with you than a guy of your age who thinks there are many fishes in the river for him to pick up and dumb at random.

Most importantly, sexual pleasure is the heart of a good relationship. Older men are more equipped with exceptional qualities in lovemaking.

By this, let’s take a glance view into what older men like in bed.

What do older guys like in bed

It’s no gainsaying that older men can be less sexually active, unlike young guys. Sexual prowess has a whole lot to do with an energetic body.

And the more the body gets old, the more it wears out. Though sexual compatibility is one of the main priorities of a happy relationship, you’ll surely get a whole lot from an older partner. Still, you may not get the dreams of fulfilling your sexual fantasies.

However, there are specific ways an older partner can be handled in bed differently from young guys. This will make you derive optimum satisfaction, and also they will be much more satisfied if you do what they want in bed.

Related: What Older Women Want In A Relationship

1. Confidence

When in bed, let him see confidence in you when chatting or talking. Let him feel you around him, and don’t be an “everything you say” type of woman.

Older men can hardly cope with a woman with low self-confidence. They don’t have time to deal with your insecurities. Your confidence is a big turn-on for them.

They like the type of woman who can confidently voice out and tell what she wants in bed.

2. No judgment

Some older men can be lagging in their sexual prowess, but they can aim to improve to satisfy you.

He loves it when you cheer him up and help him find a solution rather than keep lamenting and judging him in his weak moments or his past life.

Judging generally affects your love life, which in turn makes a man lose interest in sexual activities.

You’re expected to be his secret keeper, cheerer and confidant. Say a soothing word when in bed rather than using that time to speak ill of his unenergetic moments or his past ordeals.

3. Slow but quality intercourse

Older men want it slow, soft, and of good quality, unlike young men who may be hungry for penetration.

They want it slow and handled with care. They cherish foreplay much more. Lovemaking and not just penetration are where their sexual satisfaction lie.

You turn them on with deep kisses, rupture romance, different crazy styles and not just rough intimacy.

In essence, they want to take their time to enjoy themselves. Don’t expect your fantasy of a rough penetration to beclouded you; you may not get it!

4. He wants quality time, not a long time

Older men don’t evolve their lives around fantasy, and they’re too engaged with the daily activities of life rather than constantly spending hours in bed with you.

Not that he won’t have your time at all, but maybe less of a young partner.

With the bit of time he spends with you, he wants it to be of excellent quality, great cuddles, romantic discussions and intense romps of lovemaking, and he likes the time to be worth it.

Don’t bring an unnecessary discussion to the table when in bed with an older guy. He will feel bored and may lose interest quickly in being with you.

5. Beyond a mother

Unlike a young partner who may be having sex for reproduction, many older people have passed through the stage. Either not interested in having children or have grown ones already.

Presently, he wants to be in love and be loved. He needs a woman who will keep him company for good, and advise him on so many difficulties and not someone who will be a child producer for him.

If he still needs children from you, I am sure it won’t be his uttermost priority.

Be more focused on making him happy rather than preparing to serve the role of a mother to children he doesn’t care to have.

ALSO READ: What Men Like Women To Wear To Bed

6. A lover that communicates

They want someone he can have a deep conversation with. As we become older, experience has been acquired. So many older men feel they have many things to pour out of their minds.

That’s where the need to be a good listener comes in. Be interactive with his rant, and take things slowly with him.

Older men will likely be more conversational in intelligent discussions than mere fluffy talk that won’t add to anyone’s growth.

Be prepared to have intelligent chats with him in bed.

7. Take charge

Some older men go for younger ladies because they believe they are acquitted and updated with crazy romantic stuff that will make them happy in bed.

Don’t expect an older partner to do more. Take charge, Introduce new different styles periodically, and don’t be waiting on him to do more and more.

From bringing thoughtful ideas to vital issues, making a happy home with him, prioritizing your finances and making the bed exciting for him, take charge and stop hoping for him to do much more than his ability.

8. Be appreciative

Another thing older men like in bed is their effort to be appreciated.

Suppose he is trying hard to make you happy. Appreciate every one of his gestures and never be an ingrate.

Don’t appreciate him inside your mind; communicate it and let him know he makes you happy.

Furthermore, appreciate it by giving him peace of mind. The peace of mind lies in doing all those mentioned above.

Being in a relationship with older men isn’t a big deal. What matters is where untainted love and understanding exist.

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