Why Did He Confess To Cheating – His 3 Main Reasons

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Written By Alexis

Alexis has 7 years of experience as a relationship therapist, a degree in psychology, and a deep personal understanding of human relationships.

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why did he confess to cheating

Have you ever wondered why your boyfriend confessed to cheating? It’s a tough question that can stir up lots of feelings. The emotional distress that comes with it can be tough to process. 

Even though you’ve been suspecting your man, having him confess to you outright can be shocking, leaving you with the question, ‘Why did he confess to cheating?’

Sometimes, it’s about fixing a relationship that’s gone off track. He might be remorseful and needs help. It could also mean that he has reached a point where he’s no longer happy in the relationship and wants to inform you about his act of cheating before ending it.

This article explores the possible reasons behind your partner’s cheating confession. It also suggests actions to take and tricky questions to ask after their admission.

Why did he confess to cheating? His main reasons he confessing

Many people aspire to have dedicated, faithful partners in their lives. Nevertheless, infidelity is a prevalent issue in many relationships, and it’s almost becoming the norm.

Finding out that your partner has been unfaithful can be devastating, leaving you to wonder why he cheated in the first place. 

However, understanding the reasons behind his confession can shed light on the situation’s complexities and offer insights into the dynamics of your relationship. 

I will give you 3 main reasons your man confesses to cheating in this section, providing a clearer picture of the motivations that may have influenced his decision to come clean.

ALSO READ: Which Gender Cheats More In A Relationship? Facts

1. He is genuinely remorseful

Admitting to cheating is a very difficult thing to do. If your man admits to an affair, then it could be that he is genuinely sorry about his actions, which have been a disturbance to his comfort whenever he sees you and does not want to hurt you anymore.

He might tell you he cheated because he feels that’s his only shot at building back a healthy relationship. 

He feels it’s suitable to let you know what he did despite knowing that telling you might end what you share. 

His desire to start all over with you might be the reason he confessed to cheating.

2. He wants to break up with you

People who cheat often want to hide the fact that they cheated, especially if they still have feelings for their partner. 

If your man confesses to cheating on you, it could be that he wants to leave the relationship and he feels that you should know that he cheated on you.

He may inadvertently cause you pain and may attempt to attribute his actions to external factors. 

He might come with some justifications like; you don’t create enough time for me, you focus too much on your work or just some silly excuse to make up for his shortcomings. 

If he does this, know that there are chances he will end things with you.

3. He was threatened

A cheater would most likely not want to admit that he cheated on his partner. However, your partner’s confession might stem from a fear of the other person involved in the affair revealing the truth to you. 

This could prompt him to take control of the situation before it spirals further. 

So, now he’s confessing to you before anyone has the chance to. He may confess the truth in his words or lies, but his endgame is to take control of the situation.

What to do if your partner confesses to cheating

When your partner confesses to cheating, it’s crucial to recognize that honesty alone doesn’t erase the hurt caused by the betrayal. 

While it marks a step forward, acknowledging the wrongdoing is just the beginning of the healing process for both of you.

Navigating the complexities of a situation where your partner admits to infidelity can leave you feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how to proceed. 

However, there are constructive steps you can take to navigate through his confession and work towards a resolution that prioritizes both your well-being and the health of your relationship if cheating is not a deal breaker for you.

ALSO READ: The Main Reason He Didn’t Tell You He Has A Girlfriend

1. Listen to what he has to say

Although there is no justification for cheating, you should listen to what he says. While trying to explain himself, note his reaction. 

Is he remorseful or nonchalant about what he did? 

Listening to him allows you to know if you want to continue in the relationship or end things there. 

If he starts to blame you for his cheating, you should know that he is hurting you on purpose. In such a case, don’t hesitate to tell him off and end things there.

2. Tell him how you feel about his confession

Even though your cheating partner says he didn’t mean to hurt you, he has hurt you already and broken the trust you shared in your relationship. 

You should communicate your emotions and thoughts with him so he can know how you feel about his actions.  

It is normal to get overwhelmed with emotions, but you should still tell your partner how their selfish action makes you feel.

Whether he listens to how you feel or not, you should feel a bit better after baring your heart out. It will also help you clear your mind and make a better decision regarding the situation.

3. Know that you are not at fault

Most of the time, women blame themselves for their partner’s infidelity. They ask questions like, what did I do wrong? Am I not good enough or not giving him enough attention? 

During confession, a cheating partner may attempt to point out relationship issues they believe led to their infidelity. 

For example, your man might say, “You weren’t giving me enough attention,” or “You were frequently occupied with your work,” projecting himself as the victim.

However, it’s essential to know that addressing his concerns through communication is a better option than resorting to cheating. 

Blaming yourself when your man confesses to cheating is not something that should cross your mind. 

It would be best if you didn’t blame yourself for someone’s mistake and lack of morals. You should know that it is not your fault that they decided to cheat.

4. Work with a therapist

If cheating is not a deal breaker for you or you feel the relationship can still be salvaged, you should go for a therapy session together.

You might feel lost and need help figuring out where to start in the aftermath of your partner’s cheating. 

If you do so, Seeking professional help on your relationship issues can help you navigate the situation. 

The therapist’s role as a neutral mediator in the conversation can aid in uncovering and addressing underlying issues within the relationship.

ALSO READ: Signs He Hate You But Loves You Simultenously

Trick questions to ask a cheater after they confessed 

You might be confused after the whole confession thing, which is okay. 

While it is crucial to have an open and honest conversation with a partner who has confessed to cheating, it’s essential to approach the discussion with respect and a genuine desire to understand the situation better. 

Consider asking these thoughtful questions to gain clarity.

1. How long have you been cheating?

If your man cheated on you, he may have done it before, or he has been doing it for a long time. 

Many cheating partners cheat more than once. Whether it was a big affair or not, it’s crucial to find out the depth of how long the cheating has been going.

2. Why did you cheat?

Asking this question helps you understand what triggered your man to cheat. It also enables you to know what your partner is thinking and encourages him to open up more to you.

While there’s no excuse for cheating, asking him this question will help you identify the specific issues in your relationship and how you can solve them if you still want to continue.

3. Do you still love me?

Ask your partner if he still loves you and wants to be in the relationship. This is important because his reason for confessing might be because he doesn’t love you anymore, with no care about how you will take the news.

Asking this question will help you determine his feelings and if he is still committed to the relationship.

4. Do you still feel attracted to her?

Being aware your man had an affair with another woman is painful, but asking if he still loves her is essential. 

While it is hard to ask this question, it’s only better to ask if he is still interested in his mistress to know where you stand. 

Of course, he might not want to be honest about the question, but you can get your answer from his reaction and his hesitation to give you an answer.

ALSO READ: Helpful Signs The Relationship Is Over For Him

5. Did you think about me when you cheated?

This question is a painful one to ask, but you need to figure out what his response might be. 

Even though your partner might not be straightforward while answering, it’s okay to let things off your chest this way. 

A man who loves you must have thought of you before cheating, and the thought of hurting you should be enough reason to stop in his tracks. 

If they still went ahead to cheat, then you might have skipped their mind for a second, meaning they don’t care if their actions hurt you.

6. Does she know about me?

It is an important question to ask your cheating partner. Irrespective of the answer you might get, it hurts to think that your man chooses to have an affair despite being in a relationship with you. 

It’s essential to know if the person he cheated on you with knows about you or if he presented himself as a single man to her. 

This question might save you from potential threats from your partner’s cheating buddy.

7. Do you think our relationship is worth saving?

Questions like this often lead to a deep and honest discussion about the relationship’s future. 

This gives both of you the chance to express your views on whether you want to keep the relationship going.

It helps you to know if your cheating partner is willing to work on the relationship. It also enables you to see if they’re prepared to fix the damage they caused to the relationship.

8. What do you think about going to therapy?

If you plan on looking past his cheating, therapy might be the way to go. You shouldn’t be the only one to go to therapy. Ask him what he thinks about going for a therapy session.

If he is willing to go to therapy with you, he might be genuinely sorry and want to start afresh with you. 

If he is not open to therapy, then he wishes to exit the relationship with no effort to make things right.


Having your partner confess to cheating will always be a painful experience, but the bottom line is that you should think of yourself first. 

That is why we discussed in this article what you can do and the questions you can ask your cheating partner to gain clarity.

Knowing what to do in a situation like this and asking essential questions will help you navigate the relationship if you decide to work it out.

 If not, it will give you the closure you need if you plan on going your separate ways.

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