When Your Girlfriend Chooses Her Friends Over You

Photo of author
Written By Alexis

Alexis has 7 years of experience as a relationship therapist, a degree in psychology, and a deep personal understanding of human relationships.

Sharing Is Caring
when your girlfriend chooses her friends over you

The first sign of every successful relationship is mutual respect and value. Your girlfriend is expected to make you a priority in her life.

Your relationship is on the verge of crumbling when your girlfriend chooses her friends over you.

Although her friends are still important people in her life, but people in relationships are generally expected to have exclusive priority over one another.

Should you be worried when your girlfriend chooses her friends over you?

It should be a big concern because such an act seriously threatens the relationship. A woman that chooses her friends over you doesn’t have a deep affection for you.

If you allow it to thrive for a distant time, she will eventually get used to her friends and trust them more in making critical decisions for her.

At any minor inconvenience in the relationship, she will confide in her friends and share personal issues more conveniently with them than with you.

Her friends might manipulate her into making critical relationship decisions for her, which she may concur with, leading to bad decisions making.

If you’re noticing this from your girlfriend, depending on your findings, it’s expected you respond to the situation assertively.

The best remedy is to talk her into making reasonable boundaries between the relationship and her friends.

You have no reason to deal with a woman that believes you’re not in the same hierarchy of importance as her friends.

However, you need to know when she’s being loyal to her friends or making them a priority over you.

Friends are also important in her life. She needs to make time for them too.

ALSO READ: The Moment A Woman Realizes She Lost A Good Man

You have to call her to order when you realize she’s sharing more of her deep personal life, listening to them more than she does to you, or feeling more secure with them than with you.

It would help if you determined the possible cause of why she chooses her friends over you. Behind every reaction, there is always an action.

As an adult that chooses to be in a relationship, it’s presumed that she understands what it entails to be in romantic affairs.

She prioritizes her friends over you because the relationship lacks a few things. Let’s explore the cause together.

The reason why your girlfriend chooses her friends over you

1Friendship has stood the test of time

1. Her friendship has stood the test of time

This is purely about emotional bonds. If two people have known each other for years and enjoy each other’s good company and bad times together, it will be hard to come between them.

This means they can mutually find it hard to trust a third party with their deepest secret. Some friends even confide in each other more than their family.

It takes them years to build mutual trust; it can take time before your girlfriend balances things and substitutes her priority by placing you above her friends.

2. She’s afraid of losing her friends

Some human beings are pleasers, your girlfriend may be one. If she is the only one in a relationship among all her friends, she may want to choose her friends over you so they won’t leave her out of the circle.

She wants to please her friends so they would not trash-talk her into being a different person since she met you.

She wants to keep the relationship and her friends closer simultaneously, thinking you will understand her actions and won’t care.

This can also be a thing if choosing her friends over you comes with an advantage. They may be her benefactor in her financial growth or career path; she might choose her friends over you to avoid being sidelined.

3. Her friends comfort her more than you do

Everyone wants to seek pride in being treated with respect. If you do not respect your girlfriend enough, she will relate more with her friends that respect her opinion and treat her well.

She can still love you but will spend more time with her friends because they give her enough attention. Her friends make her feel unique.

Also, if you are judgemental, she will find it difficult to relate to you.

When she feels you don’t motivate or comfort her enough during her bad times, she will deflect to her friends who understand her and are ready to comfort her.

Moreover, she feels she can’t share sensitive things that bother her because you may feel insecure.

She knows you will be diplomatic about her perspectives and interest in some topics, which can help determine your compatibility.

If she’s not ready for any relationship complications, she will seek solace with her friends, who won’t be judgemental or sensitive to her opinions.

ALSO READ: What To Do When A Man What A Woman He Cant Have

4. You both hardly agree on things

Fighting in a relationship is a norm, but when the fighting becomes intense, and you hardly agree on things, she will feel she needs her peace, and the only people she will seek solace from are her friends.

She needs someone to talk to whenever there is a conflict of interest.

Apart from the petty fight, a lady will get attached to her friends if she is not happy in the relationship.

Maybe she has been trying too long to make the relationship work, but unfortunately, you are both worlds apart, and you hardly agree to the same thing.

The best recourse at the moment is to choose her friends over you, who understand her better.

This can also be a thing if she finds you boring. Women like gossiping over silly things. They like funny guys who can speak about many things and jokingly educate them while at it.

But you’re the opposite and don’t have much time for her, nor do you give her a chance to be such a person for you. She will choose her friends over you that match her energy.

5. She has lost interest in the relationship

She knows you deserve her attention more than any other person. But she can’t help it! She’s exhausted and wants a break. She wants to get on your nerves, so you’ll push for a breakup.

Conversely, it may be a subtle way of telling you she’s uncomfortable with your action and wants you to change.

Maybe she has been lamenting how you’ve been hurting her, but no changes. She feels choosing her friends over you will make you retrace your steps by asking questions about her negligence towards you.

Lastly, if the friend is a guy, she’s already into the guy and losing interest in you slowly. She is holding back for the perfect time to break up with you.

ALSO READ: I Ignored Her Now She Is Ignoring Me, What To Do

What to do when your girlfriend chooses her friends over you.

1. Recognize the importance of her friends in her life

True friendships are an essential part of our lives. They are meant to be our backbone, no matter the circumstance.

As her boyfriend, you sometimes need to make concessions as you can’t always have your girlfriend to yourself, not when you’re yet to be a couple.

Also, they may have been friends for a long time and have done a lot together.

When your girlfriend chooses her friends over you, you must make her understand the importance of having boundaries between the relationship and her friends.

Most importantly, analyze her friends and ensure she is in the league of friends who can’t influence and infiltrate her behaviour.

2. Talk to her about it

If you feel hurt, discussing it is the best remedy. Don’t keep it to yourself in other to avoid a fight. Communicating your concerns is the best approach; she will always choose her friends over you if she has a negative perspective of you.

Tell her how you feel about the whole thing, but don’t be aggressive while voicing your concern.

From her reaction, you’ll know the possible reason she’s doing so. she can be acting unconsciously, or she is doing so because she feels you’re also not prioritizing her enough.

Communicating about it earlier will help shape your relationship.

ALSO READ: My Girlfriend Has A Very Close Male Friend, How To Deal With It

3. Live outside of her

If communication fails, the next resort is to let her be. Her mind might have shifted from you; she is no longer interested in the relationship.

While trying to do everything possible to redeem the relationship, it is also witty that you don’t lose yourself and allow her to deprive you of external happiness.

4. Give her more attention

When your girlfriend chooses her friends over you, she may be searching for closure, love and affection.

The best way to get your girlfriend back to yourself is to spend quality time with her and make every second spent with her count.

Discover your mutual interests and hobbies and explore them. Sharing the same hobbies is a good tool to reignite the spark your relationship needs.

Make her feel special by constantly texting and reminding her how much you love her. Always remember important days in her life and start presenting her gifts with surprises.

Plan regular dates with her and ensure her comfort matters to you. You’ll be her priority in no time, and she will find it difficult to live outside of you.

5. Give her space

You’re special and should not be second fiddle in any relationship.

If you’ve communicated your concerns to her and she still chooses her friends over you, she doesn’t respect and value you, and you should not be in such a relationship.

It’s time to give her space to find happiness elsewhere.

Leave a Comment