My Girlfriend Has A Very Close Male Friend: How To Deal With It

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Written By Alexis

Alexis has 7 years of experience as a relationship therapist, a degree in psychology, and a deep personal understanding of human relationships.

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my girlfriend has a very close male friend

Everyone in romantic affairs expects exclusive attention and care from their partner, irrespective of third-party interference. 

Therefore, it is usually an unpleasant experience to find your partner closely engaged with a person of the opposite gender when you aint the sharing type.

So, when you realize your girlfriend has a close male friend, should you be outright worried? 

My girlfriend has a very close male friend, what should I do?

Sometimes, it doesn’t call for worry if you can vouch for her excellent character and understand that she is still much committed to the relationship.

When you know she has invested a lot in the relationship and won’t jeopardize what you both shared, you should not be worried when you find her close to a male friend; instead, communicate your concern and make a conclusion on her response. 

We all feel like we should be enough for our partners. Whatever they want to share with the opposite gender should be shared with us. 

However, the fact remains that everyone is at liberty to network outside of the relationship and make friends as much as they can. 

It’s only on them to make boundaries between friendship and the relationship. Friendship is meant to be casual and not compete with your relationship. 

In fact, for some reason, it is good that your girl has a close male friend. So far, you trust her enough. For instance, when you both have disagreements, it may be better that she opens up her thought to a guy you know that can give her good counsel. 

Men tend to be objective about an issue and offer advice based on reality. 

However, if you don’t trust her enough, there may be a need for worry. You may not trust her if she once cheated or the relationship is new. 

Moreover, there are a few considerations you should put in thought, don’t assume wrongly.

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Firstly, how did you come to know about the male friend? Was it your girlfriend who told you about him, or you suddenly found out they are close? 

If you feel she is hiding him from you, there’s a high probability she’s cheating on you, or the guy isn’t a good influence on her.

Also, how she reacts when you find out and confront her about it is another issue of consideration. 

Being too defensive and furious when you ask about the guy might indicate their friendship is not 100% platonic.

You must deal with the situation smartly if her friendship with the close male friend jeopardizes your relationship and don’t make room for sentiments.

However, it’s best to learn why your girlfriend keeps a close male friend.

The reason why your girlfriend has a close male friend

1. You don’t give her enough attention

You keep on giving excuses for not paying attention to her. 

Your continuous absence when she needs your companionship will endanger the relationship. 

When you cancel important dates with her without a reasonable explanation and give her less of your time, she may seek attention from her close male friend.

Ladies need attention. No matter how strained your schedule is, it would help if you made time for your girlfriend. A lot might be going on in her life that she may want to share with you. 

She wants to have a treasured moment with you. But you’re not available to share in her moment of joy and sadness. 

She might be considerate enough at the beginning but might get exhausted with the countless excuses. 

Therefore, she will look for an alternative to avoid a breakdown. That is when you see her being close to a male friend. 

ALSO READ: The Main Reason Why She Loses Interest All Of A Sudden

2. You are giving the wrong energy and interest

You may make out time for her. You don’t make excuses for being busy, yet, she still has a close male friend. 

Of course, you will want to applaud yourself for doing the right thing. Yeah! You’ve tried, but that’s not all it always takes. Sometimes, it goes beyond creating time for her. 

If you give her enough attention and still find her close to a guy, evaluate yourself, and determine if you provide the right energy she needs. 

Giving her the right energy is better than not giving at all. She will find you boring if you can’t relate to her topic of interest. 

It will be hard to keep a good vibe if you’re not interested in most things that excite her. 

If she has a male friend who understands her and makes her feel the way she wants, she will naturally start getting close to him. 

Therefore, in your best interest, understand your woman’s interest, figure out the energy she wants and learn to accommodate them. 

3. She feels more comfortable around guys

At times, the fault isn’t yours at all. You made out time for her. Understand her, and you accommodate her interest. Notwithstanding, she is still close to a male friend. It is all about her being comfortable with guys.

However, understand that it doesn’t mean she is cheating on you. Watching your girlfriend and her close male friend from afar, you could imagine them sleeping together. 

Meanwhile, all that may exist between them may be just true friendship. She feels comfortable being with the guy. 

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4. The guy is disturbing her

In some instances, it isn’t about her but about the guy. Some guys could be so dramatic during the chase, being aware the lady has a serious engagement with another guy. 

A guy might keep asking your girl for attention or ordinarily seek to be friends with her. He might invite her to launch. 

She may not want it from the beginning, but to avoid being arrogant or disappointing the guy always, she agrees. That is how it starts until they get suspiciously close. 

5. She is losing interest in you

Unfortunately, this is the bitter truth, especially if her fidelity to you is questionable. Understand one thing; women know that being close to a male friend will arouse jealousy and insecurity in a man if he genuinely values and loves his woman.

When a lady starts losing interest in you, she can intentionally get close to a male friend. This can be a symbol to tell you she is tired of the relationship and wants space. 

How to deal with my girlfriend who has a close male friend

It can be disturbing knowing that your girlfriend keeps a close male friend. Irrespective of the reasons, the end might be undesirable. 

After you figure out why she has a very close male friend, the next is to address your concern using any of the following measures. 

1. Communicate how you feel

If you find your girlfriend very close to a male friend and you complain, her response is most likely that you are insecure. But that should not stop you. 

Sometimes being jealous makes us understand that we cherish the ones in our life.

Therefore, tell her you are uncomfortable watching her get too close to the guy. Communicating how you feel is better than spying on her phone or being suspicious of her movements. 

Calmly converse your feelings and let her realize you aren’t comfortable with her close friend, who you think has a questionable character and might jeopardize the relationship and act on her vulnerability.

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2. Do away with anger

The situation is a difficult one but needs a gentle approach. Venting your anger at her will only worsen the problem. 

It is understood that the situation would trigger any man watching a random guy around his much-cherished girlfriend, yet maintaining calm is necessary. 

Even when you approach the situation calmly, her first response is most likely that you are jealous. Now, talk about coming with a temper; the result might not be your desired answer. 

Remember that when you challenge her closeness to a guy, you indirectly accuse her of being unfaithful and lack of respect for the relationship. 

Hence, it is a very fragile moment; you had better deal with it carefully by asking calmly and not making a scene.

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3. Add value to yourself

At times, it is not your girlfriend; neither is the guy. It is you who feels unnecessarily insecure and jealous. 

It is sometimes a sign of low self-esteem. Therefore, when she is close to a guy, you readily have the hunch that something fishy is attached to it. You feel she wants to leave you for a better guy.

You have to scrap such thoughts. You should add value to yourself and let it influence how you deal with people. 

Even when your girl has a close male friend, you won’t feel anything attached to it because you dignify yourself with values she might not get elsewhere. 

4. Never assume the end has come

Understandably, your girlfriend having a very close male friend could harm your relationship. However, consider the time you have spent building the relationship. 

Consider the love, passion, and affection you have both created.

After that, place the relationship on the scale that such a trivial matter will not end it. Essentially, never assume that the end has come if you still have faith in the relationship. It poses a greater disaster. 

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