When A Man Wants A Woman He Can’t Have

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Written By Alexis

Alexis has 7 years of experience as a relationship therapist, a degree in psychology, and a deep personal understanding of human relationships.

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when a man wants a woman he can't have

The love cycle is a thrilling and exciting game of life. The popular saying is that there’s a man for every woman and a woman for every man. But life can sometimes be dramatic.

For some, getting a perfect match can be an arduous task. Not because the ladies around them are not modest and beautiful enough but because their desire and vision for a relationship don’t match the kind of partner that keeps coming their way.

That’s why most people wait endlessly and struggle to find love, even if it’s glaring that their desire is out of reach.

Most guys seeking to be in a relationship have that beautiful, hearth-soothing person who is out of reach. The one person they find challenging to have.

When a man wants a woman he can’t have

This could be for many reasons; the lady may not love him back, she is taken, or she is not ready for a relationship. The bottom line is, despite the rejection, she is the most appealing to him, and no other lady, no matter the beauty, will seem to match his desire.

This brings us to the intriguing question; Why do some men neglect a better potential woman but stick to going after the one they know they can’t have?

The human mind is dynamic, everyone hates rejection, and it’s delightful when what seems impossible works out. Not trying their chances on what they’re emotionally attracted to could be a lifetime heartache to some men than the actual rejection they already envisage.

Read this article to the end as I will entirely ditch the possible reasons men stick to pursuing women they are aware they cannot have and what any man who unconsciously gets into this situation can hurriedly do to avoid being emotionally drained.


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Reasons Why Some Men Wants A Woman They Cant Have

1. The thrill of the chase

Guys within their circle are fond of challenging themselves about who has the best twist to get a woman. They challenge each other on ladies they know they may not have because of her higher social status or otherwise.

It’s such a fun challenge they embrace to show off their masculinity and improve their chances of getting more accolades among their peers.

For some men, the challenge of pursuing a woman who is not interested or who seems difficult to win over can be an exciting experience.

In this situation, a guy sees the pursuit as a challenge. They seek pleasure in knowing her reaction; the reward is the satisfaction of winning her over.

The thrill of the chase can be invigorating for some men, providing them with a sense of purpose or a goal to work towards. It can be a morale boost to hit hard on other life goals.

For example, a man may be attracted to a woman who is always busy and never has time for him. He may see the challenge of pursuing her as an opportunity to prove his worth and show her that he is the right person for her.

Likewise, a man may be attracted to a woman who is not interested in him, and he sees the challenge of winning her over as a way to boost his self-esteem and confidence.

To them, it is a case of ‘if I can get the seeming impossibility of convincing her possible, there is a high tendency of doing great at arduous life tasks if the energy can be redirected.”

2. Men perceive the women they chase as having different social standards and values

When a woman is challenging to get, all men often see her as more valuable and highly reserved. The perception that a woman is valuable or desirable can be due to many reasons, including her beauty, intelligence, personality, or her assumed level of unavailability.

For instance, a woman with many suitors may be perceived as more valuable and desirable. On the other hand, if a woman is perceived as being single and not actively seeking a relationship and have her life figured out, she may also be seen as more valuable.

Cultural and societal norms can influence the perception of value, which can be subjective and vary from person to person.

For some men, the perception of value may be based on the idea that a woman who is difficult to get is also more selective and, therefore, desirable. But she can only be gotten by the few privileged since everyone wants to be seen with the best.

It is enough mind-soothing for some men to be ordinarily seen around high-value women.

Even though they are aware their relationship proposal would not be accepted, they are satisfied with clogging around them because they think that will, in turn, improve their self-worth and social standards.


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3. Some men are attracted to what they cannot have

A woman can be off-limits to a guy for many reasons. It might be because she is already in a committed relationship with another man or is a close friend of the guy.

However, the unauthorized nature of the relationship can be alluring for some men who feel like breaking the unwritten rule.

Something perceived as not allowed and socially wrong can become more attractive and desirable, even if it’s not necessarily healthy or appropriate.

For instance, if a man is attracted to a close friend and their friendship is defined, the idea that a relationship is unethical or not allowed can make it more attractive to him.

They feel like daring the consequences and see the possibilities of changing the norms. They want to break the boundary of friendship into a relationship.

Also, suppose they desire to date a woman in a defined relationship with another man. In that case, they only regard legally married women as taken, not ones in a relationship.

4. To satisfy their masculine ego

The “ego boost” refers to the idea that for some men, going after a woman they know as ‘mission impossible’ can be their way of improving their self-esteem and confidence.

If they can win over a woman notoriously known as being unattainable, it can be a source of pride and a way to validate their self-worth.


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A man rejected by several women may see the chase as a way to boost his confidence and prove he can win over any woman.

If he is lucky to win her over, it can give him a sense of accomplishment and validation.

What A Man Should Do If He Wants A Woman That Doesnt Want Him

Some human desires will only remain as good as imagination. For some men, the women they desire will never want the same with them. This is not a dead end; there is a woman for every man and vice versa.

If you are experiencing this phase of drama, the tips below can aid in managing your emotions while you hunt for the right person who wants you.

1. Accept her decision and prepare your mind to move on

As you can’t be in a relationship with some woman for some reasons, you should expect that some ladies have reservations about not dating you, and they hold such reasons in high esteem.

The least they can be is your friend. If being a friend with her is hard, completely shut her off your space and move on to another woman who won’t mind dating you. Romantic feelings are delightful when it is reciprocal.

2. Seek closure

Don’t feel less of yourself if you can’t get the woman you want. The best is to find a way to close the chapter of unrequited attraction in your heart. You have to let go by doing away with things that can remind you of her.

If closure does not come easily, consider what you can do to raise yourself to her standard. Work on your personal goals, emotional intelligence, physique, and self-confidence. If you don’t get her, you will later get a woman as fulfilling as her.


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3. Seek support

Suppose you are finding it difficult to get her off your head; then you must open up to anyone who can emotionally support you about what you can do.

They may look at things from a perspective different from yours and recommend what you can do to get out of the enchanted emotion.

Seeking professional support from a therapist or a professional is another option. They will assess your situation and dispense the best solution that can make you move on quickly from the attachment.

4. Don’t stalk or harass her

Feelings can not always be mutual. Even if she feels frustrated and agrees to be in a relationship with you, it won’t end well because the feeling is only one-sided. Let her be.

Don’t engage in disrespectful behavior that can further degrade you before her. Pressuring, harassing, or threatening her to be your woman will only push her away, which may even attract serious legal consequences.

As a man, it’s expected that you have control over your emotions and actions. Focus on your well-being and happiness, regardless. Move on to another girl who will appreciate and love your personality as a man.

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