When Should A Woman Start Paying For Dates?

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Written By Alexis

Alexis has 7 years of experience as a relationship therapist, a degree in psychology, and a deep personal understanding of human relationships.

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when should a woman start paying for dates

Men like to display their masculinity to their partners. They always want to show they can bear financial responsibility for themselves or their partners. Therefore, most times, men are the ones who pay for dates.

When should a woman start paying for dates?

Sometimes, there are lots of advantages if a lady decides to take the role of paying for a date. You earn respect for yourself from him while you provide him with some financial relief. It is a way to appreciate his efforts and keep the relationship balanced.

However, a relationship is for two people. Anything involved in it should not be one-sided. Caring, the show of love and passion, and financial responsibilities in a relationship should be mutual.

Moreover, it is understood that men always want to take charge of financial responsibilities on dates. Nevertheless, women should sometimes come in to settle the bill.

I’ve had an experience with this from a friend, he said, I was so surprised on that day. She was not the one who initiated the date. It was on our fourth regular hangout, and she settled the bill. Later that day, she made it clear I don’t always have to pay while all she does is sit down and enjoy. After all, I have paid for three already on our past date.

I realized on that day that women also have to step forth in some instances to settle bills while on a date.

First, if the relationship has been for a long time and several dates have been paid for by the man, a woman can start stepping in to settle the bills.

At least one of four or five dates being paid by the woman is a welcomed idea. I doubled my respect for her just for that single act.

More so, being in a committed relationship, a woman has to start paying for dates. All bills should not be on the man. However, the masculinity in him will likely make him object.

One of the romantic ways to help your man is by paying for dates at times. You just helped him save some notes in his wallet, and he will appreciate it.

Likewise, as a woman, when you initiate and plan the date, it would be polite and decent to pay for it. He might not be financially buoyant on the day you choose. Won’t it be best that you pay in such an instance?

Notwithstanding, men may want to object to dates being paid for by women. Meanwhile, deep down, they enjoy and appreciate it.

What you should do is start with this trick. Tell him to pay for the dinner while you pay for the drinks. Let it continue until you can settle the whole bill if you can afford it.

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Meanwhile, is it right for a woman to sometimes pay for dates? What are the reasons she needs to do so?

Reasons Why a Lady Should Pay for Date Sometimes

There is much to benefit from when both partners cater for the relationship. No one should feel used or get tired of shouldering the relationship alone.

Therefore, women should also pay for dates if they can afford them. These are some reasons why a lady should pay for a date sometimes.

1. It shows you appreciate his efforts

The word “thanks” is not always appreciated enough. Sometimes, you must put it into action to show you appreciate someone’s effort.

If your man conducts himself as responsible, paying bills consistently and getting a “thanks” from you always won’t be enough appreciation.

You need to step forth on a few occasions and settle the bills. That is a better way to appreciate all he does than saying “thanks” always. So, try paying for the date when you hang out with him next. You will see happiness written boldly on his face.

However, I will suggest that you make it a routine. When he pays on four dates, make it a habit to pay for the fifth one. It will help your relationship in many ways.

2. To help him out with outrageous bills

A lot goes on in his mind when he has outrageous bills and more than he can bear.

Therefore, when you observe there are many bills on his payroll to take care of, perhaps you are exploring a new place for the date, it would be best if you made him see you are considerate.

If you can’t bear to pay for the date in full, you should pay at least part of the bill. It shows you understand his financial constraints at the moment.

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3. To show him that you can take care of yourself

Men sometimes may not consider you valuable when you allow them to take care of all bills. Meanwhile, you’ve been living your life before you met them. So his input on your life should be an extra, not your only means for survival.

You can avoid this by paying for dates sometimes. It will take your man back to the time he met you. He will constantly be reminded that you’ve been a boss of yourself before the relationship.

He will understand that you are only with him because you love and care for him, not only for what you can gain from him.

4. To relieve him from some financial headache

Men always have lots of bills to pay, which sometimes gives them migraines. You have no idea how happy and relieved he feels when you choose to pay for a date.

He might have only shown up for the date because he doesn’t want to disappoint you.

Therefore, when you step in to pay for a date, you save him money to cater to other needs. You become an angel to him by relieving him of some financial responsibilities.

He will appreciate and hold you in high esteem if you can pay for dates when you can afford them.

5. To put the relationship on a balance scale

A committed relationship involves two adults, so the responsibilities should not be on one individual.

It is not about paying for dates or other financial obligations alone. The show of love, care, and affection toward each other should be mutual. It puts the relationship on a balance scale, so nobody feels used by the other.

To this effect, as a woman, you sometimes need to pay for dates to balance your relationship; your man will appreciate the gesture and not consider you a mere” taker.”

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6. To make him understand it’s just a casual date

Another reason a woman should pay for a date is to show that the date is casual. There is nothing serious coming out of it.

If he has already asked you on dates several times, but you are not interested in him, you can pay for a date when it is becoming persistent.

Sometimes, it is a body language to show a man you are not interested in him. Therefore, you show him you are conscientious enough not to allow him to waste his money. You can pay for it to make a date remain casual.

7. To show that you don’t feel entitled

I have once considered some ladies from my previous relationships as being entitled. Sometimes, I lied about not having money for dates which they initiated first to see their reaction. The only fair encounter was the lady who paid for herself and left me to sort myself.

Another told me I shouldn’t have honored the date when I didn’t intend to pay for it. I consider them too entitled. I already paid for many dates; why can’t she shoulder this single date for which she was the initiator?

Of course, no man wants a lady who feels entitled just for being a lady. Therefore, take the pain to pay for a few dates with your man. It would make him feel you aren’t entitled to his funds.

8. When the date was your idea

Dates can be expensive; it depends on your financial capability and where you intend to spend your quality time together.

When you initiate a date with your man, you should try your best to afford the date’s expenses.

Your man may not be financially buoyant when you request a date. It might be too tedious for him. Most men might not want to reject the offer, especially when you are still trying to get to know each other.

So to avoid putting him off balance, if you have an idea for a date, also make available the funds needed for the date expenditures. Unless he objected to settling the bills which he is comfortable to carter for.

Final Thoughts

You don’t have to let your man pay for dates at all times. However, you should know the right time to do it.

Meanwhile, asking to pay for dates more often than necessary might make him consider you an overzealous woman. Men are known for their show-off in masculinity.

Therefore you should know when he’s financially handicapped and oblige him to give you room to pay for the date if you can afford it.

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