Suppose you feel jealousy towards your husband’s female workers; it shouldn’t come as a shock to you because many women have repeatedly whispered this question to themselves.
If you find yourself in a situation where you feel jealous of your husband’s female coworker, it is important to know that it’s not an uncommon feeling.
It’s one of the most awkward situations that can result in a fight between two ‘lover birds’, yet, they probably don’t know why their relationship always ends up like a bad romantic soap opera.
He might claim to have never had any romantic affection toward his female coworker, whereby his attitude says otherwise.
This does ring a bell, right?
When his female coworker loves to talk about football and never gets tired of cracking jokes with your man, this can definitely strike a nerve.
So you’ve gulped down three cups of coffee and stayed up all night, asking yourself, Am I being insecure by being jealous of my husband’s female coworker?
With the way your husband has constantly been talking about his female colleague and how incredible she is towards her work, you can’t help but wonder if there is more than meets the eye.
The good part is that jealousy is among the chief influencers of all relationship issues. Relationship experts describe jealousy as a normal human emotion.
Unfortunately, unhealthy jealousy exists too, which can be toxic.
You can be jealous of your husband’s female coworker for many reasons.
One of them could be that he never quit talking about her, even at bedtime, or he is always on the phone with her daily.
They might exchange cute memes and flirty messages during the day, or he defends her in full rage when you make a negative remark about her character.
The truth is, dealing with such a challenging situation can be overwhelming. Everyone gets jealous at one point.
Throughout this post, we will enlighten you on the possible reasons why you’re jealous of your husband’s female coworker, with useful tips to handle the situation in the best way to avoid conflict between you and your spouse.
The reason why you’re jealous of your husband’s female coworker
It’s healthy to get jealous when you notice an unusual attitude between your partner and his female coworker.
Although most relationships shared between male and female colleagues are platonic, your husband’s female coworker might only be a supportive work partner and a good friend.
Forbes statistics review that a stunning 60% of male adults share a workplace relationship with their female colleagues, and about 40% end up cheating on their spouse with a female colleague.
Here’s the truth. Figures don’t lie, and these numbers shouldn’t be taken for granted.
If you find yourself doubting your man, it most likely stems from jealousy of his female coworker, and you have the right to feel that way if the situation matches up with the reasons highlighted below.
1. He starts seeing her outside office hours
It is quite normal to feel a twinge of jealousy when you notice your husband hanging out with his female coworker after office hours.
The only reason to feel relaxed is if you observe that they are working on a project assigned to your husband’s firm, which comes with a tight deadline.
However, if they attend music concerts together or are always in the habit of grabbing coffee and catching up during the weekend, then it is time to engage in a deep conversation with your husband.
Let him know that their activities are making you uncomfortable.
The most faithful and understanding husband always puts their wife at ease by acknowledging her concerns, reassuring her that she has nothing to worry about, and discussing what’s been happening.
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2. He acts like a sixteen-year-old when he talks about her with a common interest
When you notice your husband acting like a sixteen-year-old boy who talks about his new high school lover, you can’t help but bite your lip in rage or clench your fist.
Sometimes he can’t stop giggling or blushing out of excitement, not because she’s good at her job but because they share the same hobbies, likes and dislikes.
She probably watches football and talks about it like a pro. She shares the same music artist, and they sing along so loud and laugh.
She is an adventurer and knows a thing about camping, or she is a great cook and enjoys fitness.
Your husband can’t stop making remarks about her qualities, probably because he’s never been around a friend who shares a common interest with him like his coworker in ages.
And it had to be his female coworker.
If he does all these and even describes how beautiful and perfect she is with her organizing skills, girl, you’ve got a red flag waving at you!
3. He never stops texting her
It isn’t easy to find anyone without a smartphone these days. Truly, our world has gone completely digital, and we’ve all got some amount of addiction too, but that’s a talk for another day.
You notice your husband always talks on the phone with his female coworker.
Maybe the conversation is becoming too causal, or you’re a bit lost and try to inquire; he only gives you an affirming nod, waves at you in a gesture that makes you feel like a child and says, don’t worry, you won’t understand the topic of discussion.
Is he playing ‘Defender of the Galaxy’ when he sees his phone with you?
Let’s say you’re not trying to act snoopy, but you needed his phone to take a picture, but he doesn’t want you to get an inch close to his device, then you have reasons to be bothered.
If you find yourself going hot under the collar by the clicking sound of his iPhone at midnight, and you’re wondering if his female coworker is an alien and never sleeps at night, and still ask yourself, why am I jealous of my husband’s coworker? You should know better.
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4. Your husband is too friendly on social media
Are they too friendly or behave too casual for a professional relationship? Scratch that from your thinking hat and use a better vocabulary to describe them, like being coquettish.
Avoiding colleagues on social platforms feels weird, especially if the firm has an active social media group.
Now, here’s the part that gets tricky and weird. You’re probably the wife that likes to keep tabs on her husband’s activity on Instagram, and you notice he follows his female coworker; that is completely okay.
When you notice his thumbs-up emoji on every picture of hers, except the one she takes with her man, a red heart or a flame emoji follows on every photo she has with a bikini or a sexy outfit, and you can’t help but wonder if you’re overreacting.
Sis, you’re not because there’s a big fire on the mountain, and it’s high time you quenched the flame.
5. He doesn’t want you to meet her
Here’s the common reason why you should experience a pang of jealousy.
If all the above scenarios are happening and you are so uncomfortable that you feel the need to meet your husband’s coworker to ease off the tension you have, then you should.
If your spouse agrees to honour your request by arranging for a meeting so you can bond with his colleague, then all is fine.
If he goes as far as inviting her to the house for Sunday Thanksgiving, there is nothing to worry about.
There’s a problem when he turns your request down for no valid reason or behaves like a sly. You should be 100% convinced of his involvement with his female coworker.
He has feelings for her if he refuses the invitation, and he is a terrible actor.
What to do when jealous of my husband’s female coworker
Every human deals with situations differently.
Your husband might probably be worried about family issues, finances, and the kids, and he needed someone to talk to; because of his long working hours with his female coworker, he feels comfortable enough to discuss his issues with her.
He feels much better after talking to her because she’s great at giving the best advice.
When his female coworker turns out to be his best buddy, it can be challenging, and it is only right to feel jealous.
However, Here’s what you need to do.
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1. Be honest enough to tell him how you feel
No matter how much you try to sound polite and friendly when you express yourself, your husband could get disappointed when you talk about your insecurities over the one person he enjoys working with it.
He might also feel like you don’t trust him and, who knows, a bit embarrassed for expressing how awkward you feel when he talks about her.
You can’t completely rule his ‘expression’ as a red flag yet. You need to prepare for this scenario too.
If he comes off dismissive and calls you an insecure partner or advises you to grow up, that is where the problem lies.
Hopefully, things don’t go that way or become worse.
But if he says something like, “Wow, I wasn’t expecting that; I’m sorry you feel this way”, and explains the nature and objective of their relationship, then you have nothing to worry about.
There is no better way to solve marriage gaps than effective communication between you and your partner.
When one expresses their concerns, the other must pay close attention and try to understand the other person’s point of view.
That’s how it works. Far better than magic.
2. Set healthy Boundaries Together
So you’ve pulled the communication string, and your husband understands the situation. The next action to take is to set boundaries together.
He must learn to keep a professional relationship; you could be his accountability partner.
This means no calls or texts after working hours and no going out for coffee to crack jokes or gossip.
When he becomes sensitive to your insecurities and addresses them simultaneously, he probably has your best interest at heart.
3. Make Her Your Friend
This sounds awkward. But it works. If your husband insists on not being involved with his female coworker, then don’t stress it.
Women know very well to trust their instincts and follow their hearts.
For peace sake, ask your husband to invite his female coworker for a hangout. You can draw her closer and develop friendships.
If she has a good heart, she will be happy to be friends with you and welcome you to her world.
Who says you have to be best friends? It doesn’t matter.
As long as you can watch how your partner and his friend relate while she establishes a close bond with you, then you’re good to go!
That would definitely reduce your anxiety.
You must remember one thing: you can’t describe yourself as being paranoid. Your insecurities are healthy and should be addressed by your husband.
When his relationship with his coworker turns from being professional to flirty, you have every right to feel jealous.
Being jealous proves that you care about your relationship, and every part of you wants to fight for the love you both share.
If you do find yourself in such a situation, you’re not alone, and this guide has highlighted why you feel jealous and what you must do to keep your marriage strong and healthy.