I Know My Boyfriend Loves Me But I Feel Insecure

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Written By Alexis

Alexis has 7 years of experience as a relationship therapist, a degree in psychology, and a deep personal understanding of human relationships.

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i know my boyfriend loves me but i feel insecure

Having the assurance that your boyfriend genuinely loves you is blissful. It gives you a feeling of passionate warmth that pleases the heart. 

The certainty and sense of assurance are so powerful that they can elevate one’s self-esteem and brighten your day. 

Nevertheless, despite being assured that your man adores you, a tiny dot of uncertainty still surfaces occasionally, which might show in your reaction.

Having a caring boyfriend is not necessarily the solution to handling the insecurities in your relationship. 

There are suggestions in this article to help you deal with “I know my boyfriend loves me but I feel insecure” mentality.

You can start by looking inward to know the cause of your insecurity. Doing this is essential in getting rid of all tensions.

Doubt has been a significant cause of breakups in several beautiful engagements, and this typically stems from insecurity.

If you think your man is too good for you or you feel what you share is too good to be true, then you have low self-esteem. 

Numerous elements can foster doubt and diminished self-assurance in a lovely relationship.

In this article, I pinpoint the probable cause of your insecurity and how you can address and manage your emotions.

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What makes a woman feel insecure in a relationship 

If you don’t believe you deserve a great partner, you might become too clingy or dependent on your boyfriend because you’re scared of losing him.

Multiple factors can contribute to a woman feeling insecure; let’s delve into some of these factors.

1. Previous encounter

Past romantic involvement is one of the significant elements that might make you uncertain of your ongoing romantic bond. 

Your previous partner(s) might not treat you so well, and you think it’s now a pattern. 

It’s expected you feel this way; however, you don’t want the past to define the lovely bond you share with your man, so you must consciously build your mentality that you deserve something good.

Aside from the past dating episodes, your childhood experience is another factor that can make you insecure. 

This usually happens with children who were sexually abused, children with broken homes, or children who grew up hearing words that put down their self-confidence. 

If you’ve experienced any of this, it can cause you to feel insecure as you grow older. 

2. Low self esteem 

Low self-esteem means having an unfavorable perception of oneself and doubting your worth, ability, and desirability in any relationship.

Having low self-esteem plays a role in your insecurity. Having a bad image of yourself, fear of rejection, or self-comparison can do a lot of harm to your relationship.

Low self-esteem blurs your view of the beautiful qualities you possess. Don’t be hard on yourself; give yourself the chance to thrive in a sweet romance. 

Understanding that your boyfriend values your remarkable qualities and his desire to be with you is essential in overcoming your insecurities.

3. You tend to overthink matters

Overthinking can mess up your relationship by causing stress, communication problems, and insecurity.

Also, overthinking can make you misinterpret your partner’s words and actions, which can cause fights that could be avoided.

To maintain a healthy bond, you don’t have to overthink everything; you need to communicate more with your man.

4. Lack of Self Love

Despite wanting to be loved by your man, it is also vital to love yourself. Loving yourself is essential in fostering positive interactions.

The lack of self-love can cause too much dependence on your boyfriend.

If insecurity lurks within your relationship, It’s crucial to actively cultivate self-love by consistently reminding yourself of your growth and boundless potential. 

Also, don’t stop engaging in things you cherish; stopping will only lead to frustration.

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5. You don’t trust your boyfriend 

Feeling insecure despite knowing your boyfriend loves you can result from the distrust from your former dating experience.

Allowing trust issues to cloud your judgment can be counterproductive, making you overly possessive of your boyfriend, which is unhealthy.

Constantly doubting your boyfriend may lead to a pattern of surveillance, which creates an environment where your partner feels under constant scrutiny. 

This does not help; it creates a tense situation between you both. 

Suspicion and mistrust can also stem from not trusting your man well enough, leading to a dysfunctional partnership.

Having the best man with good intentions may not provide you with the warmth of security if you struggle with trusting your boyfriend. 

Don’t let past experiences rip you off an excellent romantic experience.

6. You’re scared of losing him

The anxiety regarding losing your partner is a crucial attribute of insecurity; seeing him with other ladies always riles you up, and that’s a big sign you need to work on. 

If you are constantly anxious that your boyfriend could leave you one day, you might be giving room for doubts and a lack of confidence in him. 

As we said earlier, low self-esteem can cause you to view things this way.

You know your boyfriend had past relationships before you, so you should believe your personality won his heart. 

Worrying about losing your boyfriend may rob you of the chance to embrace and cherish the beautiful moments you genuinely share.

7. Lack of effective communication

A healthy relationship often hinges on maintaining open and consistent communication, which helps dispel doubts and mistrust.

Inadequate communication between you and your boyfriend can pave the way for distrust in your relationship. 

Aside from this, lack of communication can bring about misunderstanding, neglect of needs, and emotional distance that can lead to reduced intimacy, which can build resentment in the process.

Regardless of your hectic schedules, you both must carve out time to engage in meaningful conversations with each other.

Express your displeasure, talk about what you love about each other, and spend quality time together.

8. You get jealous a lot 

It is expected to get jealous in a relationship, which is quite common. Issue arises when it gets too much, or you act on it, leading to constant fights.

Jealousy possesses a considerable influence, frequently serving as the catalyst for insecurity within a relationship. 

When jealousy creeps in, the best thing to do is to relax and not take action on it. 

If you become obsessed with constantly checking up on your boyfriend’s phone and personal items, you’re setting up your relationship for failure.

ALSO READ: Obvious Signs You Will Never Find Love

I know my boyfriend loves me but I feel insecure – How to deal with it

1. Analyze your relationship goals

If constant arguments with your boyfriend have become a thing, then you must regularly assess your goals as a couple. 

Also, reflect on whether any underlying insecurities have been central to these challenges.

Establishing and discussing goals will help you both clarify why you decided to kickstart a relationship. 

Assessing your goals also helps you know your progression, where you’ve gone wrong, and how to improve things.

2. Maintain a healthy outlook 

Maintaining a positive outlook even when anxious about your relationship is vital to eradicating insecurity. 

Always view negative thoughts through an optimistic lens and see challenges as a chance to grow. 

Rather than letting anger get a hold of you, aim to remain composed and share goodwill.

Showing a positive outlook eliminates worries and negativity, but it also aids you in building a peaceful relationship. 

It helps you build healthy relationships and also enables you to navigate challenges in a positive light.

3. Adopt self-awareness 

Self-awareness helps eliminate worries by letting you pinpoint and comprehend your area of strength and where to improve.

When you adopt self-awareness, you can identify the root causes of your insecurity and work on them. 

If you want to build self-esteem, you should practice self-reflection. This helps you embrace your true identity and reduce the impact of uncertainty on your self-esteem and interactions generally.

Self-awareness also allows you to distinguish between past experiences and present situations, preventing you from projecting previous insecurities onto current relationships. 

It fosters a sense of self-acceptance, making it easier to let go of unattainable standards and negative self-perceptions. 

Self-awareness is a powerful tool for individual growth and developing healthy bonds.

4. Nurture faith in your partner 

Trust is vital for a long-term relationship, so don’t hesitate to discuss any issues with your partner openly and honestly. 

Build trust by promoting open communication with your boyfriend. Address negative and uncertain thoughts, as insecurities often stem from unspoken fears. 

Be transparent about your intentions, past experiences, and expectations in your relationship. Be consistent, keep your promises, and take your commitment seriously.

Another way to build transparency is by understanding your partner. Understand their needs and wants, then show empathy.

ALSO READ: Helpful Sign The Relationship Is Over For Him

5. Practice self-love

Loving yourself empowers you to engage with others confidently. You should understand your value within the relationship and feel self-assured. 

This enables you to give your best and be genuine while connecting with your man.

Prioritize acts of self-care, such as spending time with family and friends and pursuing your personal goals. 

By adding value to yourself, your self-confidence will naturally blossom. Doing this will help in reducing doubt about your boyfriend.

Starting a relationship without a clear understanding and appreciation of your self-worth can lead to feelings of insecurity and the possibility of unhealthy dynamics in your relationship.

6. Good communication 

Faulty assumptions can harm even the most solid relationships. Rather than acting on suggestions rooted in uncertainty, why not seek clarification from your partner by asking questions, ensuring that you avoid making premature judgments.

Communicating with your boyfriend often helps you feel closer and trust each other more, reducing concerns about cheating and trustworthiness. 

It also empowers you to express your desires freely, highlighting the importance of effective communication in managing insecurity.

7. Seek therapy 

It would be best to go for therapy when the situation gets out of hand. A therapy session improves relationships by helping you talk better, solve problems, and understand each other.

It can also help to fix past issues, get closer emotionally, and keep your relationship strong.


Insecurity is bound to surface occasionally; neglecting it can endanger the beautiful connection you share with your partner.

Confront and openly address any irrational thoughts you might harbor regarding your boyfriend. 

This article intends to make you feel secure with the prospect of a fulfilling and long-lasting relationship.

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