Making a man wait seems outdated and old-fashioned in today’s dating world. There’s value in this notion. Every relationship requires time to develop at its own pace.
There are steps to creating a solid relationship. Steps to a successful and healthy relationship include friendship, courtship, and good connection.
Each step is essential; therefore, none should be skipped. And this is only possible if a waiting period is implemented. There are several benefits of making a man wait.
You get to build real connections, get comfortable, and create a solid foundation not based on sex or hormones. Sex means different things to different people. It strengthens affection but shouldn’t be the basis for a relationship.
Waiting aims to allow you to evaluate him without your hormones raging.
This is very important if you are in search of a real connection. So, making him wait may be the best in the long run, even as a modern woman.
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How long does he need to wait according to research
A study by the Journal of Sex Research revealed that 51% of 11,000 unmarried couples in a “serious or steady” relationship waited a few weeks before having sex with their partner.
38% of 11,000, on the other hand, had sex either on the date or within the first couple weeks of dating.
Subsequently, 11% revealed that they had sex even before the first date and start of the relationship.
According to the study, the timing of sex matters in a new relationship. Those who had sex earlier, according to the survey, tend to be slightly less satisfied and happy.
This is because sexual excitement tends to wear off with time. However, this can be prevented if you put in the work and sacrifice. Efforts many are not ready to make in the long run.
Another 2012 study from Cornell University revealed that couples who waited at least six months before having sex in their relationship were happier than those who didn’t.
According to the study, this decision positively affected their relationship happiness and intimacy.
The bottom line from these studies suggests that waiting doesn’t necessarily mean until marriage; even a few weeks or months can greatly impact a new relationship.
This means that making him wait can be beneficial to your relationship in the long run.
12 benefits of making a man wait
Especially with women, it is so easy to get carried away by sex. There’s no need to deny that sex clouds judgments.
It is very easy to overlook certain features because the sex is good. It is also very easy to think a guy is good and the one for you because of good sex.
This is why establishing a waiting period before first sex gives you a clear head to think.
There are several benefits of making a man wait. The following are a few worth taking note of:
1. It reveals intention and weed out the incompatible
People get into relationships for different reasons. This is why it is essential that your reason and his for being in a relationship align.
Some men date for sex, just trying to get lucky. If you sleep with such men too early while trying to build a committed relationship, you risk being used for purely sexual satisfaction.
However, when you make him wait, he will eventually give up and pursue another target if he is just for the sex.
When a man is willing to wait and encourages you to act at your pace, it shows how he truly feels about you.
Therefore, making a man wait is an excellent way of knowing his true intention. If he likes your personality, he will be willing to understand you better and create a real connection with you.
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2. You won’t confuse sexual hormones with love
Sex can cloud one’s judgment. When the sex is great, it is easy to get lost in passion and miss signs of incompatibility.
Relationships don’t only revolve around the bedroom, so it is essential to make him wait first.
Being abstinent can be compared to having a sober mind; you get to make sound and precise decisions.
Additionally, you get to form opinions on his qualities without being clouded by sex. This is important if you are relationship-oriented.
So, making him wait and getting to know him better allows you to enjoy each other’s company and get comfortable.
This makes sex seamless in the long run.
3. It can help protect your feelings
Protecting your feelings is one of the most important benefits of making a man wait. While casual sex is a thing, not everyone is favored by it.
If you are pretty emotional and bond quickly, it would be best to make him wait before having sex.
While being in touch with your emotions and bonding quickly can be very powerful with the right man, getting attached to the wrong one can be a disaster.
So, to avoid being used and attached to an unhealthy relationship, make him wait.
This way, your feelings are protected if he turns out to be the opposite of what you expected.
4. Solid relationships are built on friendship and trust
According to a social, psychological, and personality science meta-analysis of seven studies, 66% of 1900 college students and older adults established friendship first with their significant other before starting a romantic relationship.
This translates to a healthy relationship.
Therefore, having sex in the initial stage of a relationship can put you in a vulnerable position.
However, when he waits, you get to create emotional bonds that go beyond just sex. The more you get to know him, the more you build trust and friendship.
Solid relationships are built on trust. So, this must be set before taking things further.
5. Sex won’t make him stay
This is a widespread mistake made by most women. If he isn’t interested in a committed relationship, no amount of sex can make him stay.
So if sex can’t make him stay, why not make him wait and know his true intention?
A man who isn’t interested before sex would likely not be interested even after sex. There’s more to keeping a man than good sex.
Factors like compatibility, individual differences, personal beliefs, lifestyle, and lots more come into play. So, never consider using sex to make him stay.
Instead, make him wait and assess his intentions. If they are not in line with yours, walking away becomes easier.
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6. You won’t feel bad if he walks away
Making him wait can result in two things: either he stays or he walks away. If he stays, you have something promising to work on; however, if he walks away, you have undoubtedly dodged a bullet.
The latter is easier to deal with if there is no intimacy.
Unlike men, women tend to attach more emotions to sex. You may feel used and bad if he drops you like a hot potato after sex.
However, making him wait may prevent this from happening.
So, if he stops calling or reaching out when he doesn’t get some, it is easier to move on than when the deed is done.
7. He will get to know you too
You take away his chance to know you and fall in love with you when you give in to sex early in the relationship.
Depending on his intention, men often lose interest quickly, immediately after sex. The thrill and excitement are gone after spending time under the sheets.
This is because there was nothing solid to begin with. The relationship was driven by intimate passion; after the passion dies down, it lacks the foundation to continue.
This implies that there’s more to a successful relationship than just sex. Personalities, goals, likes, and dislikes must be aligned for a healthy relationship.
Therefore, give him a chance to know you before your body. This way, he can tell if he is all in for you before committing.
8. It prevents the ‘what are we?” question
When you make a man wait, you get to establish your relationship stance.
Therefore, to prevent being treated casually by someone whom you hold very dear, define the relationship first before sex.
Intimacy in an undefined relationship can lead to awkward questions.
For women, sex involves emotions and can result in emotional attachment in the long run. Having sex with a man who is after a casual relationship can leave you hurt.
So make him wait, figure out where you both stand and prevent the awkward “what are we? ” question several weeks later.
9. Prevent STIs
Making him wait lets you know his sexual orientation and past sexual experience. Except you both agreed to have a test done, there’s no way of knowing your partner’s sexual health.
On the other hand, when you take time to get to know each other, you can get comfortable asking for an STI test.
So, making him wait builds trust and prevents future infections.
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10. Prevents unwanted pregnancy
Undoubtedly, unwanted pregnancy results from unprotected sex. Abstaining from sex is an excellent way to prevent having a baby.
This is important if you are not ready to be a mother.
Even though you are ready, it should be with someone you trust and willing to raise kids with you.
So, having a kid with a guy who doesn’t want them can screw up your life. Raising a child is a whole ball game that can change your life beyond your wildest dreams.
This is why making him wait can prevent you from being a baby mama, as most guys just want to have fun and bounce.
11. Makes it easier to break up
It is much easier to break up and walk away when you are not treated right in a relationship with no sex. Some ladies end up in toxic and unhealthy relationships because of good sex.
Therefore, making him wait makes it possible to have sound judgment since sex isn’t a factor.
12. It builds anticipation, which makes the wait worth it
Sex isn’t the only form of intimacy. True intimacy goes beyond physical activity. Therefore, making him wait builds anticipation and makes the experience worthwhile.
Waiting has its appeal. It creates excitement and anticipation, which can be very thrilling. So, waiting makes the sexual experience even better.
Everyone isn’t Doing It!
There’s this widespread assumption that everyone is doing it, so why shouldn’t you? However, this doesn’t seem right, as there’s no time limit for intimacy.
As discussed earlier, sex alone isn’t the only form of intimacy. Therefore, making him wait doesn’t put you at a disadvantage.
There’s nothing wrong with having sexual desire. At the same time, waiting for the right moment is essential, as it has benefits.
So, making him wait is an excellent way to establish true intimacy and define your relationship before taking the big step.