When a breakup happens, it breaks the one more committed to the relationship, and those who sacrifice their all to make things work gets hurt the most. There are too many events that make the hurt stay longer.
The thought of going through another talking stage, remembering the shared memories, and missing every good thing your ex has done for you are enough reasons for a breakdown which you are not willing to bear at the moment and makes you want to find out how to stop thinking about your ex with someone else.
“Are they talking about me right now? They must be gisting about me at the moment. They are having a romp of sex at the moment.” All these questions would pop inside your head once you think about your ex with someone else.
Thinking about your ex with someone else is another level of hurt worse than any other reason you’re still not done with your feelings for them.
It is a painful and frustrating experience that can keep you at a low for a long time. After you have gone through the confusion of whether to stay or leave, you have to make the final decision that comes with leaving.
Another emotion you have to deal with now is the thought of your ex vibing and probably telling their new partner about you.
You will undoubtedly feel a new range of pain, rage, and resentment. If you are jealous and angry at your ex, you are not doing too much, but that can’t heal you and will stunt your moving process.
You want to stop, but it’s hard. You are trapped in your thinking.
How do you stop thinking about your ex with someone else?
It is hard but not impossible. It would be best if you had the discipline to stop the addiction to your ex. It is the right time you admit you need to rejig your self-esteem and work towards the mistakes of the past.
It would help if you overcame the obsession by practically adapting to basic cognitive skills like self-awareness, confidence, and being conscious.
So, here are the top practical processes you can adopt to stop thinking about your ex being with someone else.
How to stop thinking about your ex with someone else
1. Stop blaming yourself
The more you blame your inadequacies for the breakup, the more you stick to the fact that your ex is doing better with someone else.
Stop dwelling on what you could have done better to keep your ex to yourself. Remember, they could have stayed and adopted all measures to make things work if they still had faith in the relationship.
This is why you need to stop blaming yourself and move on.
I understand that moving on isn’t easy, but the moment you stop carrying a guilty mind around, you won’t be moved by any thoughts or happenings that arise after that.
It would be best if you recognized that you are being worried by being too conscious. You pay attention to what’s non-existent.
Your ex may not be having anything with someone else yet. They’re probably nursing the post-breakup trauma like you. Reconditioning your mind and bearing no guilty conscience is a way to get out of the self-inflicted problem.
ALSO READ: My ex has a new girlfriend, does he miss me
2. Be less attached to social media
Suppose you are a social media freak. It would be best if you cut down on its usage. Social media is a breeding ground for jealousy and comparison. People post good stuff often and filter the bad.
The more you see your colleague or a random person getting married, celebrating a relationship anniversary, having a date, and all sorts of romantic gestures, the more your mind aches, and you wish. This could make you get stuck in the process of healing.
Also, if your ex posts often about your relationship when you were together, they will no doubt post about the new person they just met. The more you check their activities on social media, the more jealous you become.
You may even unconsciously start stalking them. And the thought of your ex being with someone else will live on your mind for a long time.
3. Shift your mind to reality
All that has been in your head is an illusion that may not be true. It’s high time you stopped intrusive thoughts about your Ex. Only believe in what you see and the facts you can ascertain.
Your Ex may not have all the thoughts in your head with someone else. They can also be suffering from post-breakup trauma. Shift your mind to reality.
Seclusion breeds unconscious thoughts. You can switch to watching a movie, listening to music, or reading story books. The more you think about something, the more habitually stronger it becomes and can influence your general well-being.
If mental shifting is unrealistic for you, concentrate on your environment more and engage with them. If you find being with a company of friends comforting, stick around them.
4. Don’t stalk your Ex
Suppose you are stalking your ex to compare how they are faring with their new partner and how your life is moving. Whether the outcome of your stalking is what you desired or not, you will undoubtedly feel unsatisfied.
The more you see their activities, the more you are interested in what they do with their new partner.
Refrain from attaching yourself to their activities, either online or otherwise. You will only feel more miserable if you try to check what they are doing with their lives.
If you have mutual friends that are gisting on you about your ex’s current activities, tell them you want to keep earshot of your ex and how they need to respect your decision.
5. Write down your fear and meditate on them
The more you think about your ex being with someone else, the more you doubt ‘what if .’ The practical step to remove the probable thoughts is first to be clear about them and write them down.
Write down all that transcend since the breakup and now. Reading your thought and emotions will make you identify how funny your thoughts are.
It lets you be objective and trigger your brain to see things from different angles and perspectives.
After writing them down, process them through stern meditation. Meditation has increased human focus, memory, and decision-making ability.
It also helps in getting a grip on negative emotions like stress, anxiety, and even depression. It helps you see things as they should be, not what your mind imagined.
6. Develop a new hobby and explore new places
If you recently breakup, it means you’ve had more time to yourself. Instead of disturbing yourself with what your ex is up to with someone else, see the post-breakup period as the best time to explore new and exciting things.
Find a fun new hobby or join a group that can deflect your focus from thinking about your ex. You will feel happier and less sad because you have like minds to engage, especially if your hobby is an outdoor engagement.
The deeper you get into a new hobby, the less likely you think about an ex.
Also, exploring new places is another good remedy to stop thinking about your ex. Visit popular restaurants, concerts, or an art museum.
These would allow you to view life differently, and your mind will no longer be stuck around an ex who no longer cares about your existence.
You may even find cliques of friends in a new place, get a better opportunity that can transform your life, or find a new partner at the cause of your exploration of the new environment.
7. Spend time with your family or friends
If you’ve been so obsessed with your ex when you were in a relationship to the extent of not creating time for others around you, this is the best time to retract your steps and make a rebound with them.
Your family or friends love you and will want to be part of your healing process. Please share your thoughts with them. Their opinion can reshape your reasoning and make you feel better.
Also, when you focus on friends or loved ones who care about you, their energy will take your mind off things. Spend quality time with them, and you shall be wowed at such a fast pace that you move on from your one-sided attachment to your ex.
8. Go on dates with other people
This is not meant to be counterintuitive, i.e., do not get into a date because your ex is having one. Going on a date with people will shift your mind quickly from your ex to a new person.
It will enhance your mental health and improve your self-esteem. It will erase the bad memories and rewrite a new, better one.
Dates is a discovery to ascertain you’ve stopped attaching yourself to an ex. If you communicate with a new person, you will be able to assess why your past relationship, learn lessons and be ready to effect necessary changes in the new relationship.
9. Get Professional Help
It is easier to quickly develop plans and strategies to adopt to manage crises like this, but it’s not easy to follow. Moving on may be challenging if you are on the journey alone.
Getting professional support might end the mess you’ve unconsciously accumulated in your mind. Visiting a therapist will aid in a quick solution for you.
They will aid in releasing the attachment by considering different perspectives based on your narration of events.
Your relationship ended does not mean you should lose your self-esteem and live a miserable life for an ex who no longer cares about you.
If you stalk an ex, it only means you are living life for them, and they can pressure you more if they realize that you are thinking about them.
It is high time you stop thinking about your ex with someone else and start living your own life. With the practical solutions you have read above, it is high time you start to keep the past behind you and prepare for the future.