How Long Should The Silent Treatment Last In A Relationship

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Written By Alexis

Alexis has 7 years of experience as a relationship therapist, a degree in psychology, and a deep personal understanding of human relationships.

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how long should the silent treatment last

Many people would rather stop talking to their partners when they are angry with them.

They stop calling, chatting, or having any other verbal interaction with them. It is cool to choose silence over conflict with your partner when they piss you off.

That shows you respect them. For that moment, you can reflect on the good time you’ve had together.

On the other side, your partner may realize their mistake and be ready to reconcile and politely apologize. More so, you must have realized your mistakes too.

The silent treatment gives you the chance to reflect, perfect your wrongs and continue with more understanding.

So, how long should the silent treatment last in a relationship?

As fruitful as silent treatment could be, it can also be detrimental if it lasts more than it should. Before being silent toward your partner, you should first consider their ability to understand that your silence does not mean you no longer want them.

It would be best if you understood how long they could stand your absence.

If you are silent for more than they can bear, there are chances they might get tired of the relationship, and their feeling for you might start degrading.

Therefore, vividly study your partner to know how long your silence treatment should last.

Importantly, if your partner is clingy, you will not want to give them more than two days of the silent treatment. Else, you risk more problems that could eventually lead to a breakup.

By contrast, if your partner is the adamant type who doesn’t take to Correction easily. You may need to elongate your silence.

If you don’t give them enough time to reflect and realize their mistake before you cut off the silent treatment, your silence is useless; They will repeat the same mistake repeatedly, believing they are right.

Therefore, for such an adamant partner, you may want to be silent for about a week or a couple, depending on how stubborn they are.

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Furthermore, ensure strong mutual feelings exist between the two of you before using the silent treatment to correct your partner.

The duration of your relationship matters too; it gives the impression that you are not planning to leave them but trying to express your grievances.

If you have been in a relationship for a long time, you can go for weeks without talking to your partner. They will understand that you are merely nursing displeasure and maybe angry towards them.

If the relationship is new, they might feel you are not interested in them enough and term your silent treatment as being tired of the relationship.

You need to know how to diligently use the silent treatment so that it won’t backfire in your relationship or marriage.

How To Handle The Silent Treatment With Dignity

The silent moment is so delicate that it may backfire and ruins the relationship you both took the time to build if not handled with dignity.

Handling the silent moment with dignity is not only for the partner showing the silent treatment alone.

If you are the party your partner is treating with the silent treatment, you have to handle it diligently so that it won’t further escalate.

Below are suggested ways to control the situation if your partner treats you with silent treatment.

1. Understand the reasons behind the silent treatment

Not everyone understands the reason to withdraw from talking to one’s partner. For some, it may be an outside occurrence that affects their mood, and they are merely descending the anger on their partner.

Also, for some partners, if you hurt them, instead of talking about it, they would rather keep it to themselves and wait on you to ask them about their sudden change of character before they gather the energy to explain how they feel.

They are the types that have trouble expressing themselves. On the other hand, some partners are serial emotional abusers.

They give the silent treatment to hurt you because they know its power, especially between partners in a solid romantic relationship. They know it is a power to compel you to do what they want.

In any case, make sure you understand why they refuse to talk to you. Politely ask, and let them see the genuineness in you.

2. Don’t let them know you are paying attention to their emotional move

If you are aware your partner is trying to abuse and manipulate you with the silent treatment emotionally, the best dignifying way you can handle the situation is not to pay attention.

Let them know you are ready to talk things out whenever they are prepared to talk about it. When they realize that their emotional tactic failed, they will force themselves to speak to you.

ALSO READ: How To Pull Away From Him To Get His Attention

3. Don’t react to silent abuse

If it is glaring your partner manipulate you with silence to get something from you, the best is not to react in the same manner.

The silent treatment hurts, and it is hard not to react, especially if it is over a meager issue or if your partner is trying to manipulate you.

The best is to act as if you are not concerned with the treatment.

Occupy yourself with other things. If they see that you don’t care about them, they will make a move to reconcile with you.

4. Prioritize yourself

It’s easy to get thrown off balance when your partner gives you the silent treatment, especially if you care about the relationship.

You may feel guilty, and it is normal if you hurt your partner. Make amend as soon as possible by apologizing.

But if it is otherwise, the fault isn’t from you; the best thing is to prioritize yourself at this moment and stop feeling guilty for the offense you are not responsible for.

5. Define your boundary

If you intend to get married in the future, it is detrimental to be with someone who will always use the silent treatment to express their aggression.

If it is clear your partner is pushing up emotional manipulation, the best to do is to state your stand and let them realize what you will not admit.

If that fails, such a relationship isn’t healthy for your mental health and goal. The best is to opt-out of it.

6. Seek professional help

Silent treatment in a relationship may be one significant emotional abuse. Putting up with silent treatment all the time can distort your mental health.

You may become angry, depressed, and anxious because of how your partner treats you. In such a case, it is advised you seek professional therapy.

You can ask your partner to seek a relationship counselor together if possible. That may save your relationship, and you will get back to your desired romantic life.

However, if you are pulling the silent treatment in a relationship because of some irregularities of your partner, and you feel only silent treatment can correct them. Consider handling the treatment diligently as well with the following guides.

1. Don’t nag when your partner wants to talk to you

If you are the one keeping silent from your partner, you don’t have to do it in a manner that makes your partner feel foolish about themselves.

Yes, it’s been understood that you don’t want to talk. Yet, you should not pick up their call and rain insult or reply maliciously to their texts.

It is enough that you are silent. It pains them already; therefore, don’t add salt to the painful wound by hurling abuses.

Conduct yourself if you have decided to express yourself, and don’t let anger get over you to the extent of nagging at your partner. It would only worsen the situation.

2. Be sluggish in your response

If total rejection doesn’t work or you feel it is too harsh. You may use a sluggish response and quick cut-off tactics to assert changes.

Pick up their calls after they have called repeatedly without explaining why you don’t pick up on time. Leave their texts non-reply for long. Don’t be romantic on such a phone call, be straight and formal in the discussion.

You need to be very brief with it to show you are not happy with them at that moment.

ALSO READ: How Does A Man Feel When A Woman Leaves Him

3. Don’t withdraw your recurrent aids

If you’ve been supporting your partner when you were on good terms and still getting together, it is best to continue some basic needs your partner relies on you to get.

Treat the two differently. You can only withdraw the support if you feel you need to quit the relationship.

That even signify to your partner that you are still in love with them and not ready to break up but want them to make necessary corrections.

4. Respond calmly if your partner is ready to talk about it

Don’t overdo it. Be prepared if your partner shows remorsefulness and calls to talk about it.

That is the only avenue to get your grievances laid satisfactorily.

Why Do Guys Give The Silent Treatment

You claim to love someone, yet you desist from talking to them for days or weeks? Anyone will want to call such an act irrational.

However, seeing it from the other side will make one realize there are reasons guys decide to give their girlfriends silent treatment at times.

1. He is hurt

If he has repeatedly warned you over an issue, but you remain adamant. He might choose to go mute generally in talking to you.

Guys get hurt, too, as girls do. Some might not just show it, but if they are frustrated to a point, they can resort to silence so that they won’t say words that can mare the relationship.

2. For Correction

Guys use the silent treatment to correct some constant mistakes of their girlfriends.

A guy that doesn’t want to resort to violence or verbal abuse because of the respect he has for his girl can decide to deploy silent treatment as the strategy to make his grievances known.

Hence, he has to keep silent for some time to show his disapproval of your annoying behavior.

3. Work or career crisis

Frustration outside of your relationship might lead to a guy non-talking to you for days. Work or career pursuit might be tormenting him.

Though it is rational, some guys can be so depressed with life issues that they easily lose their minds in thought. If it’s certain you are not the issue, use the perfect persuasion strategy to get information about the problem and motivate him enough to cheer up.

In conclusion, the silent treatment is a helpful tool for every relationship. It gives partners the chance to reconcile quickly by making their grievances glaring to the other party.

Also, using silence instead of violence shows your respect for your partner, increasing your mutual understanding.

However, when resorting to silent treatment, take the above tips. So that, in the end, your silence will yield a positive result.

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