My Boyfriend Games Too Much – How To Handle This

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Written By Alexis

Alexis has 7 years of experience as a relationship therapist, a degree in psychology, and a deep personal understanding of human relationships.

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my boyfriend games too much

Concerns about your relationship are not out of the ordinary and are expected in relationships.

Anxiety tends to creep in occasionally, making one doubtful, but while you may have valid concerns, they aren’t necessarily the basis for a breakup.

When issues arise in your relationship, the best way forward is to find healthy ways to fix those issues and make the relationship work.

If you notice your boyfriend spends most of his time gaming, you might ask questions like, “Why does my boyfriend games too much? This can make you have concerns about his gaming obsession.

Don’t worry; you will gain crucial tips to handle the situation in this article as you read on.

Gaming is a common sport for men, so common that it can become an addiction.

Suppose you’ve probably come to the point where his gaming habit threatens the stability of your relationship; in that case, you’ll want to look for ways to manage this habit, especially if you’re very committed to the relationship.

As entertaining as gaming can be, some women detest it mainly because it draws the attention of their men away from them, but unfortunately, most times, the games have the upper hand.

Gaming too much can destroy beautiful relationships. Women are attention lovers; they hate sharing their men with anything else, even if it’s inanimate.

Nonetheless, in this article, we’ll discuss why your boyfriend spends so much time gaming and some effects gaming has on relationships.

ALSO READ: How To Make Him Beg For Your Attention

Why does my boyfriend games too much

Your boyfriend’s dedication to video games can become frustrating, especially if you have tried unsuccessfully to make him create time for you.

Being in each other’s company is sufficient to foster a healthy relationship, so couples must prioritize and give attention to their significant other.

In the 11th edition of the International Classification of Diseases, the World Health Organization (WHO) listed gaming as a disorder because of its addictive tendencies and the damaging effects it has on a person’s social, professional, and personal life.

Your boyfriend’s engrossment with his game might be severe enough to the point of addiction.

However, these are some of the possible causes why your man may game a lot.

1. Bonding with friends

Men value spending time with their friends, and gaming is one way they connect. Since gaming requires him to stay home, he may become so attached to it that it consumes his time.

If you live together, he may feel he’s achieving two things: being with you at home and spending time with his friends playing video games, not realizing how much he gives to gaming than to you.

2. Masculine impulse

Generally, men like to be in charge and do not like being told what to do or how to behave, and although his habit may annoy you, his masculinity might have also gotten the best of him.

In this case, complaining to your partner might not solve the issue because he wouldn’t want you to be the one to decide whether he should reduce his gaming time or not.

Instead, you should look for ways and at the right time to state your grievances and give him time to come around.

3. He earns from gaming

Gaming is not just limited to having fun; it can also be a means of earning. If your man is a professional gamer, it could be another reason he spends so much time on video games.

Studies show that people passionate about their work usually give their all to their jobs, irrespective of their pay.

If your boyfriend is getting paid for playing video games, it could be why he spends a lot of time on it.

4. Boredom

Boredom can be the primary reason your man always plays games.

If he is not a social person, gaming might be his idea of fun and entertainment, but his attachment to games can drop the moment he gets other options.

5. Addiction

You’ll know your boyfriend is addicted to his games when he can’t control how much he plays, even when it’s adversely affecting some other areas of his life.

For instance, he may need to improve in his studies or work, but his gaming addiction might not allow him to focus.

When he goes out of his way to play at every given opportunity he gets or becomes irritated for not being able to game, he is likely an addict.

This behaviour is a severe disorder, and he would need help to break out.

6. Loneliness

This does not always result from not having people around us; sometimes, another person’s presence does not take away this depressing feeling.

If your boyfriend is going through loneliness, it can push him to seek solace in games, not because he can’t control how much he plays but because it takes away the lonely moments.

7. Absence of emotional intimacy

If your relationship lacks emotional connection, you may likely seek comfort elsewhere. Your boyfriend might have resorted to gaming as his comfort.

Being unwilling to share your feelings can push you two further apart and ultimately cause your boyfriend to desire gaming more.

Open up to one another and rekindle emotional intimacy to help solve this problem.

8. For Pleasure

Most men derive pleasure from gaming. It’s common to keep doing what gives you pleasure repeatedly.

If your boyfriend plays video games a lot, it means he enjoys it and may be on his way to becoming addicted unless he puts a check on it.

9. Personal problems

Your boyfriend may be going through emotional problems that you may or may not be aware of, and he may see video games as an escape route.

Understanding him can become challenging, especially if he doesn’t like opening up.

If his commitment to games is a new development, giving him some time might help more than pressuring him into talking or stopping his new hobby.

10. Strained relationship

A strain on your romance can cause your partner to withdraw instead of discussing things with you.

If you are also reluctant to address the problem, he will likely give more attention to video games and ignore relationship issues.

11. Relief from stress

After a stressful day at work or school, we all desire relief through relaxation. Your boyfriend’s means of relaxing or being entertained could be through playing video games.

However, he might have immersed himself too much due to his inability to allocate time properly.

12. It is Rewarding

Research by the Stanford University School of Medicine shows that men find video games more rewarding than women.

If your boyfriend is fixated on playing video games, he may not realize how much time he has spent on it.

ALSO READ: Fun Play You Can Do With Your Boyfriend At Home

Negative effects of video games on relationships

Video games can negatively impact relationships when nothing is done to curtail them.

Your partner may also be unresponsive to your attempt to address his gaming habit despite its destructive impact on your love life, and as long as this unhealthy habit persists, you can be sure that it will rift you both apart.

Whether it is an addiction or a symptom of another problem, playing games too much can negatively affect your relationship.

Here is how:

1. It can lead to separation

Relationships that suffer neglect from one partner ultimately end when the couple cannot resolve the underlying cause of negligence.

Spending so much time gaming at the expense of one’s partner can cause a distance between the couple.

The more time spent on gaming without addressing pressing issues, the more the rift widens, and it is only a matter of time for one or both partners to call it a quit.

Gaming might be a means of escape from an existing problem, but it can quickly become a problem itself when caution isn’t taken.

It can worsen things by leading to the termination of the relationship.

2. Takes away time from the relationship

Spending quality time with your partner is necessary for the growth of a relationship. When a man gives all his time to gaming, there’ll be hardly any time left for the couple to bond.

Sharing quality time becomes far-fetched to him. The relationship thus suffers deprivation and merely survives on whatever crumbs of commitment it can get.

3. Reduces partner’s sense of worth

The one who does not play video games is bound to feel sidelined and undervalued.

If you constantly struggle to get your boyfriend’s attention, you’ll wonder whether you matter to him; this is an unhealthy feeling and can discourage you from further strengthening the relationship.

Your partner, engrossed in gaming, might assume you are okay with it, especially when you no longer complain. On the other hand, you might feel disrespected and unappreciated.

4. Strain on the Relationship

A strain on your relationship is inevitable if you do not prioritize romance. It takes two people to make it work.

When it feels like one person isn’t trying enough, it can cause a withdrawal from the other partner.

If previous discussions seemed unyielding, you might become unwilling to discuss things with your partner again.

The more you both are silent about an issue plaguing your relationship, the more strain you’ll nurture.

5. Increased arguments

Arguments can become a regular thing in your relationship if your partner is addicted to playing games.

While you desire to maintain an emotional connection with your lover, your desires might be left unattended, leading to several arguments.


An interest in video games is common among men of different age ranges and, ordinarily, should not constitute a problem in a relationship.

Sadly, it’s gradually becoming a widespread concern that has led many women to seek professional help from experts and other reliable individuals.

If you follow the reasons and insights suggested in this article on why your boyfriend plays too much, you can find a possible solution by knowing why he spends his time gaming.

Knowing the root of his gaming obsession can help you handle the situation better.

It is important to note that there is no assurance that the problem will be resolved instantly. However, giving your relationship a chance to become stable again can be worthwhile.

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