My Boyfriend Doesn’t Take Me On Dates – How To Handle It

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Written By Alexis

Alexis has 7 years of experience as a relationship therapist, a degree in psychology, and a deep personal understanding of human relationships.

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my boyfriend doesn't take me on dates

You are in the midst of a beautiful love story filled with cherished memories and shared dreams. Yet, you find yourself asking, “Why my boyfriend doesn’t take me on dates?” 

This question can leave you confused while longing for a change. We all long for the heart-pounding excitement of getting dressed for a date. It’s one of the thrills of romance. 

Statistics have shown that lovers who go on a date at least once a month are unlikely to break up. But what happens when those date nights are becoming a distant memory? 

Many of us can relate to this situation, which we will discuss in this article.

Reasons your boyfriend doesn’t take you on dates

Finding out why your guy is reluctant to date nights is crucial to resolving the problem. The reasons can vary for different people. 

You must also consider whether this is a new development or he has always been like this. 

These are some possible reasons why your boyfriend is not keen on dates.

1. He always has a busy schedule

Your man may be too busy with work and other activities. If he works as a medical staff or a freelancer, his schedule might be so chaotic that it would be challenging to plan for an elaborate date night. 

It’s not any better if he works a 9-5. Although a 9-5 has a planned schedule, your boyfriend might come home tired at the end of every workday, craving nothing other than a good night’s rest. 

2. Financial constraints

Dates can be expensive. You probably want to visit an exquisite dinner with a fantastic ambiance and cuisine. 

Sometimes, these dates can involve a trip to another city and a hotel room for the night. 

Those perks cost money, and your boyfriend might be unable to afford it. 

Guys want to treat their ladies to the best, so if he is not keen on a date yet, it may be because he is saving up to go on a big date with you.

ALSO READ: Signs He Loves You And Hate You Simultaneously

3. Complacency

Romance tends to stagnate at certain phases of a relationship. 

When you notice that your fantasy has lost the steam of the early days, it is likely because your boyfriend no longer feels any impulse to win or pursue you. 

This theme is common in long-term commitments. Your man probably feels too secure in your affection and no longer fancies going on dates.

4. Communication breakdown

Communication is the fuel that keeps the fire of romance burning. When there is a break in communication in your relationship, many things will go wrong. 

Distance, unresolved conflicts, or busy work schedules might cause a communication breakdown. 

Constant communication with your man strengthens the bond and puts you in the right headspace to make a date night plan. 

5. Different love languages

Everyone has a love language. Date nights fall under the Quality Time category. 

If you both do not value quality time on the same level, he may not see the need for dates. 

If his love language is physical touch, he might be more interested in cuddling on a couch while you binge-watch on Netflix.

6. Introverted personality

A shy, quiet boyfriend would likely not enjoy outdoor events. If your man has that personality, he would not be comfortable displaying any form of affection in public. 

An introverted guy is often too self-conscious to put himself out there or try something new. He would rather spend time indoors. 

7. He Prioritizes other commitments

Another reason your boyfriend does not take you on dates is that he prioritizes other commitments over you. 

He always seems to have an excuse or engagement that would prevent him from going out with you. 

He is either watching sports, chilling with the boys, working, or attending an event. 

Busy schedules are understandable. However, he would create space for you if you were his priority. 

8. He is reluctant to leave his comfort zone

Some guys prefer to stay in their comfort zones. They are not adventurous or daring. 

They will not spring up any surprises or take you on a wild trip; they want to keep things simple. 

If your guy is unwilling to leave his comfort zone, he might not be too eager to go on dates with you. 

9. Long-distance relationship

Although many people feel that distance is not a barrier in a relationship, While it may not negatively affect the emotional connection, you both cannot share intimate moments like date nights. 

You can’t hug, hold hands, or cuddle. If you are in a long-distance relationship, date nights are ruled out unless you want to host one virtually.

10. He takes you for granted

Your boyfriend might take you for granted if he does not ever consider taking you on a date. 

This is particularly true if it is a subject that you have discussed with him in the past. 

If he shrugs you off whenever you bring up the topic, he does not value you. 

ALSO READ: Helpful Signs The Relationship Is Over For Him

My boyfriend doesn’t take me on dates: how to handle it

It can be frustrating if your man never takes you on dates. Watching your friends go out with their boyfriends can make you view your relationship as boring. 

Here are some ways to handle the situation when your boyfriend doesn’t take you on dates.

1. Communication is key

Talking to your boyfriend about your needs can help him understand you better. 

Do you like date nights? Let him know. 

Tell him that you would like to have a lovely time with him. However, note that communication is two-way traffic involving talking and listening. 

As you express your desire, you should also be willing to listen to his perspective. 

Listening to your man will give you a better idea of his likes and find a solution that would favor you both. 

2. Seek for compromise

You may have to seek a compromise in your relationship if you both do not speak the same love language. 

If your boyfriend does not value quality time, he might find it difficult to set up dates. In this case, you both should be willing to find a compromise. 

Express your desire for date nights. You may have to accept that you will not go on as many dates as you would like. But he has to be willing to compromise to meet your date needs. 

You can now work to meet each other halfway. 

3. Plan dates together

Planning dates together can make the whole process much more intimate. Many guys are not sure which place to take their girlfriends to. 

Planning your dates together cultivates a culture of openness in your relationship. 

You can pick out some incredible places, and you both will narrow it down based on factors like budget. 

This activity increases your connection because you learn more about each other’s preferences.

ALSO READ: 7 Obvious Signs He Loves You Deeply

4. Set expectations

Knowing your man’s personality can help you manage your expectations. You should not expect to go on frequent dates if your man is not outgoing.

But you can set targets for him. You can set a target of a date for every month. That way, you can tell if your boyfriend prioritizes you. 

5. Be patient

Your boyfriend might not be the most outdoorsy person, and going on dates might take some getting used to. 

If you genuinely love him, you should be willing to cut him some slack. Relationship requires empathy and patience. 

You need to be patient with him and give him time to grow into doing things you like. This should be easier to do if you both are in the relationship for the long haul.

6. Appreciate his efforts

They say comparison is the thief of joy. It is easy to feel like your boyfriend is not doing enough when you see snippets of your friends’ dates on Instagram. 

This can make you feel jealous or inadequate. However, you must remember that you can’t tell the details of another couple’s life pattern. 

Look beyond the glitter and gloss, and pay attention to your boyfriend. Appreciate his attempts to please you. 

7. Explore budget-friendly options

The cost of spending a night out is a factor that makes many boyfriends avoid going on dates. But a date night can be cheap.

Instead of going to high-end restaurants, you can try an excellent but solid local restaurant. 

You can also go for a walk or set up a picnic in a quiet park. Whichever the case, it is not the cost of the date that validates it; it is the quality of time shared. 

8. Initiate dates sometimes

Your boyfriend might be hesitant to organize dates with you for many reasons. He might be introverted, cost-conscious, complacent, and overly secure in the relationship. 

You can initiate a date instead of waiting for him to set one. Tell him you would like to spend some time at a particular location. Sometimes, all your boyfriend needs is that nudge. 

9. Quality over quantity

There is a reason why it is called quality time. It is not defined by the hours spent together. It’s the quality of time, the sweet feelings, and the beautiful moments enjoyed. 

Instead of going on dates every weekend, focus on maximizing the time spent together. Romanticize every second of your life.

 Sing the karaoke together, go on late-night walks, or sit on the park bench and gaze at the stars. 

When you have a “quality over quantity” mindset, you would not need to go on dates every time because every day already feels like a date. 

10. Rediscover your connection

The flame of a romance goes cold after a while. Things like date nights go out of the window when that happens. 

You must rekindle the fire and reconnect with your boyfriend to enjoy old pleasures. One way to do this is to restore communication levels. 

Regular communication can strengthen the bond between you and your boyfriend. 

You can also aim for a sentimental touch by cooking his favorite meals, wearing the dresses he loves, or surprising him with a date. 


Going on dates is one of the most effective ways of spicing up your relationship. Dates allow you to experience your partner in a relaxed atmosphere. 

You can create beautiful memories, eat good food, and learn more about each other.

So you might worry that something is missing in your relationship when your boyfriend doesn’t take you on dates. 

It can make you ask questions like, “Why my boyfriend doesn’t take me on dates?”. By following the methods listed in this article, you should be able to steer your relationship back on the right track. 

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