How to Stop Loving Someone Who Hurt You

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Written By Alexis

Alexis has 7 years of experience as a relationship therapist, a degree in psychology, and a deep personal understanding of human relationships.

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There are many reasons why you decide to learn how to stop loving someone who hurt you in the past. Lots of ideas are behind this, and sometimes it’s so challenging to comprehend.

You might have given your all in a relationship, and you got played in the end. A breakup can be a significant reason for this. Maybe you love someone too much but never receive an ounce of affection back. That is not fair to you.

I may be lying to you if I tell you it will be easy to stop loving someone you have a deep affection for in the past. But the truth is, you can’t deny your love for them, but you can control your emotions to work in your favor.

But first, this person has a deep connection with you. They were once diligent and amazing. They make you forget tomorrow. You live your life knowing that someone has your back.

They seem faultless and pure. They hold you tight, and you can feel their heartbeat synchronize with yours. They listen when you talk, with their eyes staring into your soul; it is like they can see through you.

You feel protected, being together, loved, and alive. But now life happens, you want to stop having a deep affection for them for your heart to be at bay.

Everyone has a different tune when making decisions; I cannot speak for you or vow to know the reason behind your action, but what I can share with you to ease the tension is how to stop loving someone who hurt you.

It might help you know that caring about someone is different from loving them.
I mean, Don’t you care about your friends? You could even care about children in the orphanage home that you have never met before.

Caring about someone is an emotional aspect of human existence, one we cannot live without if we have a good heart.

You can care about someone and not love them, but you cannot love someone and not care about them.

Love activates additional spice to your level of care; it cooks your ability to care with so much attention and tenderness.

When you start harnessing the thought to stop loving someone you still care about, it means the love you both shared is fading away. You don’t feel the connection anymore, and you think the relationship cannot work out based on the hurtful moment they made you pass through, so you want a breakup.

But after that, you still have this tender spot for them, and then comes the question that keeps running inside your head. How do I stop loving this person?

You hate that a part of you still cares, even though you both aren’t together.

Some time ago, I was talking with a friend about this, and he said, “when she broke up with me I had to take measures to ensure that I don’t fall into the depression of thinking about her and avoid nourishing the feelings I had for her, I mean she broke up with me.”

However, if you find it difficult to stop loving someone who hurts you, I put together two different approaches that will help you.

How to stop loving someone who hurt you

1. Cut all contacts (social media and physical contact)

Communication is the strength of every relationship, and when you are trying to stop loving someone, you need to cut off all forms of contact with them, both physical and social contact.

There is no need to see pictures or hear voices that would stir up memories for you. You are trying to climb out of a ditch, not sink deeper.

2. Face the fact

You have to come to terms with the fact that you were ‘abandoned’ in the relationship; he/she hurts you so badly, which means it was never meant to be. So it’s unnecessary to keep loving someone you have no prospects with.

3. Accept your emotions

When someone breaks up with you, and you are asked the question if you still love the person, the reply is mostly No! I smile at such responses because that is a lie you are forcing yourself to believe.

Rather than put yourself through the heart-aching process of denial, accept that you still have those feelings. When you stop living in denial, it becomes easier to find a way to stop loving.

4. Do not dwell in the past

Do not go about reminiscing what could have been or digging memories of the past. You might need to get rid of items that remind you of what you both shared. It is ok to cry. It is ok to be in pain. But don’t get stuck in it.

Remind yourself about things that matter more to you and go ahead to do something you love. Meet new people, be open and possibly get into a new relationship, but as you do that, make sure you are in it for the right reasons. Don’t go on a rebound.

Related: How To Get Over Someone You Thought Was The One

5. Don’t be kind

Do not sugarcoat the truth about how you feel. Talk to your partner about your feelings of not wanting to be with them any longer. There are lots of circumstances that may trigger your decision, but don’t hide the truth from them. You know what you want, then go for it.

6. Don’t fall for the guilt trip

Your partner would try to get you to work things out, but as long as you are sure of your reasons, don’t be manipulated to stay. Run along with your life, do not wait and let your partner use your weak points to persuade you to stay back.

7. Highlight the lousy moment

Start seeing those bad habits that didn’t matter to you before. Start complaining about it and see it as a big deal. Ask yourself, “Can they ever change? He does this all the time, and I cannot stand it”.

The love you have for your partner will die off when you no longer cover their bad habits or characteristics under the umbrella of love. Remove the umbrella and allow the rain to drench you both.

8. Get busy and be productive

Engage in various activities, do things you love, Things that will engage you to have little time to think about them.

When you are too involved with daily activities, you become productive and not wallow in despair.

Find yourself again, meet new people, participate in discussions, and when you know in your heart that you are ready, you can dive into a new relationship.

I hope you find this article helpful. Do let me know if you have had a personal experience of this and how you dealt with it in the comment section.

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