How to find love after 30

Photo of author
Written By Alexis

Alexis has 7 years of experience as a relationship therapist, a degree in psychology, and a deep personal understanding of human relationships.

Sharing Is Caring
How to find love after 30

If you freshly became single or just turned 31 single, there’s an anxiety that comes with that status. It might make you depressed and keep you searching for answers on how to find love after 30 as if you are the only person still single on planet Earth.

Comments from people around you start turning out negative. Some would even say that you’re too picky; you need to level up. Your parents and friends would begin to remind you of your exes and how they have moved on with families, living a happy life except for you. 

Then you start to consider your chances of finding love after 30, asking yourself questions like can I find love after 30? Is it possible to find love at 30? or is it too late to find love at 30? How possible is it?

At some point, these questions and negative comments would develop a mindset to remain single forever. Before you conclude, there are some things you can do to find love after 30. If you succeed in keeping the following tips in mind, you will find love faster than expected.

How To Find Love After 30 Fast

  • Remove emotional haul
  • Set your limits straight, know what you want and don’t want.
  • Learn to communicate and understand the opposite sex
  • Don’t date for the sole purpose of getting married.
  • Don’t date someone only for their potential.
  • Drop your games and gimmicks
  • Get serious with appropriate age etiquette
  • Sign up with a dating app
  • Age is just a number

1. Remove emotional haul

Experiences from old relationships have a way of putting together emotional baggage. It’s like punishing your new partner over what your exes did.

Being single in your 30s, there’s a high probability that you have emotional baggage like having trust issues, having a sense of dislike for the opposite sex, thinking of yourself as not good enough, etc.

But you have to dump all. You have to drop this baggage to move on in other to land a chance of finding love. If you don’t drop the emotional hauls, you are putting your new relationship in jeopardy. 

2. Set your limits straight, know what you want and don’t want

Failed relationships have a way of redefining personalities. You begin to strike out what you want on your list, thinking your heart will accept and adjust because you feel like time is running out. You should know what you want in your partner for a better future. 

Are you in for marriage? Having children? Relocation to another state? Or focus on career goals? Knowing what you want and don’t want would help your search for someone who is a good fit for your lifestyle. It would also help to understand your partner’s goals to succeed in the future. 

ALSO READ: How To Be Romantic When You’re Not

3. Learn to communicate and understand the opposite sex

Don’t assume that you know the ABCs of dating because you have dated quite a few in your 20s. It may be true that you know the ropes by now and can tell from signs if someone is charming or a player or whatever. 

Your tell-tale alerts should not make you believe you see the end from the beginning, as you can meet people from all over the world with new attributes.

The sooner you can learn and understand how to communicate in a relationship, the faster you will find love at 30.

4. Don’t date only for the sole purpose of getting married

Years have passed and your exes and friends are settled and having children; you start to think it is tough out there for you. Getting constant reminders that the clock is ticking makes you desperate to settle. Even if marriage is the end goal, don’t just date for the sake of finding someone to marry you.

A continuous reminder to your partner about marriage raises concerns. Your partner begins to ponder if you two are dating only to get married or for compatibility and companionship. It’s a lot of pressure. Don’t expect your partner to fill your immediate void.

5. Don’t date someone only for their potentiality

Dating someone only for their potential is like dating an imaginary person; it sets you up for failure without realizing it.

Stay true to yourself. Don’t turn a blind eye to the critical red flags and flaws you are seeing, don’t try to make the situation look great because you are scared you won’t find a better person.

If you want to find love at 30, accept them for who they are and admit that it would never work out for who they are.

6. Drop your games and gimmicks

In your 20s, you and your friends have had a reputation for playing relationship games, faking the lifestyle, having fun, and enjoying the power of casual dating.

Dating in your 20s can be full of energy, and you never have to worry about your chances of finding love at 30.

Now that you are in your 30s, you should consider being real to yourself and your partner. Don’t feel too young anymore; even though you’re not old, quit the games.

7. Get serious with appropriate age dating etiquette.

In your 30s, there’s a level of concern for your dating etiquette. When asking yourself, is it too late to find love at 30? You need to think of providing answers to questions like who’s paying the check. Should I offer that we split the bills? Who plans the date? Who keeps up with the chats? Do I get drunk on dates? How soon should we talk about our future?

In your 20s, you may not pay attention to these questions, but in your 30s, you have to understand what is required of you.

8. Sign up on a dating app

You are not alone in the world of; what are my chances of finding love at 30? Dating and matchmaking apps have made it so easy to get answers to your questions.

These apps have some matchmaking algorithms and a smart profiling system that gives you access to meet real people with personal preferences that you like.

The truth is, most times, online dating leads to one-night stands, but a study has shown that 1 in 3 marriages started online. Consider signing up on a premium dating app.

9. Age is just a number

It may be soothing to remember that age is just a number. While she may be a little older than you expected, he perhaps a little younger than you, age is only a number. Relationships flourish with an open mindset and not with age differences.

If you on your list prefer personalities but set an age limit, you may have to strike out the age limit. Age does not command maturity or provide the qualities of being loved. Being completely honest and open is an excellent step to finding love at 30. 


Finding love at 30 as a woman differs from finding love at 30 as a man. The question of, is it possible to find love at 30? Can I find love at 30? Makes the singles at 30 worried.

At 30, you’re not getting younger, and at the same time, you’re not too old to find love. However, some reorientation may be needed to make finding love easier. And yes, love can indeed be found after 30.

Leave a Comment