6 Reasons You Miss Your Ex Who Treated You Badly

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Written By Alexis

Alexis has 7 years of experience as a relationship therapist, a degree in psychology, and a deep personal understanding of human relationships.

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reasons you miss your ex who treated you badly

It is natural and normal to miss your ex, regardless of whether they treated you fairly, especially during the first few weeks after the breakup.

The beginning of every relationship is usually rosy and seems never-ending. He texts you, replies to your texts instantly, avoids staying out late, smells incredibly lovely for you, and buys you gifts.

Gradually and soon, he stops doing these things. The man who once treated you with respect now treats you with disdain. They might have told you they love you, but their actions speak otherwise.

A pattern starts to form, and you are trapped in a toxic relationship before you can discern what it is all about.

A cycle of unhappiness that you cannot get out of.

Eventually, he pulls the plug, and still, you cannot move on. You find yourself now and then lost in your thoughts, thinking about them.

Subconsciously, it is inevitable not to think about our old relationship. We sometimes see a photo or go to places that awaken old memories.

Sometimes, Getting over your ex is easier said than done, especially when they are in a relationship with someone else again.

You secretly hope they will abandon their newly found partner and return to you. If you continue to dwell on your ex who treated you badly, you close the possibility of finding a new partner.

From my experiences, I will shed light on why many cannot get over their ex who treated them badly.

Understanding the Reasons Why You Miss Your Ex So Badly.

Reasons you miss your ex who treated you badly

1. You are not used to being alone

2. You depend too much on them for your happiness

3. You think you can change them

4. You are yet to come to terms with the fact that the relationship failed

5. Your new relationship does not meet your expectations, so you compare your current partner with your ex

6. You are keeping tabs on them

Most people wonder whether their ex might regret dumping them because of their post-breakup anxiety.

They stay up day and night, desperately searching for signs and clues if their ex-partner feels remorseful about ditching the relationship. They keep searching for some hope.

The lack of positive signs usually does more harm than good and they begin asking themselves, why do I miss my ex who treated me badly?

One of the mistakes that most people make when they fall head over heels for others is that they overly depend on them for their happiness and survival.

It is easy to fall into this rabbit hole during the infatuation phase of a relationship.

Here is the gist: swooning over them is not the problem, but being unable to be on your own when the need arises is when the trouble starts.

This is in addition to the fear of being alone if breakups happen.

Many people in romantic relationships lean heavily on the other to fill the gaps in their lives. They ditch their hobbies and depend on their love mate for their happiness.

When their partner treats them badly and eventually leaves them, they can’t seem to be able to cope alone and get over them.

This attitude tries to rope them back into the toxic relationship.

Not being grieved adequately, the loss of the relationship is another reason many people can’t move on from an ex who treated them badly.

Grief and loss are not only associated with losing a loved one through death. Grief is also a response to the loss of a romantic relationship.

The pain of dealing with a breakup is something most people avoid.

It becomes difficult to heal from grief without acknowledging its cause. Putting on an avoidant attitude cannot get you far in getting over the loss.

Instead of bottling up your feelings, talk them through with a trusted friend or a therapist.

It gets hard, if not impossible, to grieve the loss of a relationship if you monitor your ex’s social media activities who treated you badly.

When the pain from a breakup is still fresh, it’s usually tempting to do anything to dull the pain and possible trauma.

If you struggle to move past it, you might find yourself scrolling through your ex’s social media timeline.

This action may seem to provide distraction or temporary relief, but the truth is that it prolongs the grieving and intensifies the urge to reconnect.

Research has shown that monitoring an ex’s social media activity elevates the distress related to the breakup and diminishes the possibility of moving on.

You might be thinking of getting back with your toxic ex because you think you can change them. Women are mostly caught up in this web.

As innate nurturing beings, women tend to change their partners into an image that suits them. They have a habit of trimming the rough edges of their man even when it is glaring that he doesn’t want them trimmed.

Some women fail to realize that change comes from within and not from the outside. Not every guy wants to change from treating their woman badly.

You may miss your ex because your new partner does not meet your expectations.

It’s perfectly normal to make small comparisons with your past relationship, especially when your needs are not met, and you think you deserve better.

A comparison might do more harm than good in your quest to heal from your past toxic relationship.

When you compare your current partner’s inabilities in terms of what they cannot do but your ex is naturally good at, then missing your ex is inevitable.

Fearful of admitting the failed relationship has led many back into it. When you invest a lot of time and effort in something, it is difficult to admit when it goes south.

Spending much time and effort on a relationship that does not make you happy does not mean it is right.

You should learn to accept a loss and pick up the vital lessons you will use to attain a successful relationship in the future.

How did you end up being treated badly by your ex?

We all ask ourselves why we are at the receiving end of such cruel treatment.

Why did we end up being taken for granted? Why wasn’t I respected? Is that what true love is about?

True love exists, but you will have to work to earn it. People are going to treat you the way you treat yourself.

What to do when you miss your ex who treated you badly

I understand you are missing your toxic ex and dreaming of getting back with them. I know you feel this way because you think you can change them.

But you should realize it is time to move on, especially when they show no signs of turning a new leaf.

Think about the reasons why you ended the unhealthy relationship. It is probably for the best.

Your relationship with your ex may have prevented you from hanging with friends or pursuing your career goals.

Whatever the reason, revisiting the relationship’s unsavory experiences will make you snap out of missing your ex and jolt you back to reality.

Hang out with friends instead of staying at home and missing your ex. Get together to see that favourite movie you have been yearning to see and take your mind away from your ex.

When trying to get over your ex, a little self-improvement can increase your mood and self-confidence.

Learning new skills or taking that class you have always wanted is a great way to start.

Old pictures and gifts that remind you of your ex could play a massive role in making you miss them.

It is difficult not to remember and miss your ex when their reminders are staring you in the face. Get rid of the reminders to shift your mind away from your ex who treated you badly and move on.

Your ex won’t consume your thoughts anymore, and I bet you will be setting yourself up to meet the next love of your life.

Key Takeaways

Think about why you ended the relationship in the first place; don’t repress your feelings. Stay busy and be productive to distract your mind from sadness and loneliness.

Do not give in to the urge to check their social media activity, and do not call or text them. Focus on self-improvement.

Hang out with friends. Do not entangle yourself in negative self-talk. Take some time to travel to places. Get rid of things that remind you of them. Prioritize focusing on your passions.

Final thoughts

I hope that those who missed their ex that treated them badly will learn how to put a stop to it. I know what it means to be poorly treated by your ex, and you don’t deserve such treatment.

Do what is necessary not to get back to them. You should only get back to them if you’re convinced of genuine changes in them through their actions.

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